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About Literature / Hobbyist Zachariah [REDACTED]25/Male/United States Recent Activity
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The Statues Of Haruhi Suzumiya
Haruhi came fashionably late as always, and shouted dramatically, "SOS brigade! I have a new project for us!"
Kyon sighed, while Itsuki smiled as usual.  "What's our mission for today?"
Huruhi grinned, "I got bored last night."
‘NEVER a good thing.’  Kyon thought.
"And I was flipping through some art magazines, and I came across this thing called 'live sculptures!'"
Students could almost hear Mikuru gulping several rooms over, at the thought of whatever new poses and costumes she end up in this time.  
"What's the matter? Scared to show off your body?"  Haruhi said.
“Uh, n-no, Haruhi..."  She sputtered.
"You mean that thing where a bunch of people stand around for hours and pretend to be statues?"  Kyon asked.  "Sounds like a waste of time to me."
"Are you saying that Yuki and Mikuru's bodies are something to be ashamed of?"
Itsuki asked, "Why did I get left out?"
Kyon shook his head.  "No, no, Mikuru definitely doesn't have any
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Anger Management (Contest Entry)
A Pokemon fanfic.
There was a scream, followed by a thud.  This thud was then followed by a groan.  All these sounds came from the same source; a teenaged trainer by the name of Dustin, who had just lost a Pokemon battle, and took his frustration out on a nearby tree, only to be painfully reminded that said tree was far more durable than his fist.  Still wincing, Dustin recalled his unconscious Whimsicott to its Pokeball.  He walked up to the trainer that had beat him, and shoved the prize money at him.  “Here!”  Dustin said.  “Take the money!  Your scrub tactics won’t save you next time.”
And with that, Dustin stomped off back to Blackthorn.  Entering the town’s Pokemon Center, he slammed the Pokeballs onto the counter.  The nurse restrained her sigh.  “Welcome back to the Pokemon Center.  Would you like me to heal your Pokemon?”
“Of course.”
“Okay, this will o
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A Birthday Treat
Warning:  Contains descriptions of temporary transformation into an inanimate object, as well as temporary mental changes.  If such things make you uncomfortable, do not read this story.
Cam closed the door to his room.  It had been a long day at work, and he was feeling pretty exhausted.  He was about to just flop down on his bed and go straight to sleep, when he saw a small envelope on his pillow, with his name on it.  Curious, he opened it up to take a look.  Inside was a letter.
“Happy Birthday, Cam!  Hope you’re ready for a big surprise for you and your guests.”
It was a pretty odd message.  One of his family could have left it for him, but why wouldn’t they just tell him themselves.  He tossed it in the trash before turning off the light.  He sighed as he went to bed.  Tomorrow WAS his birthday, but he had been so busy, he hadn’t had time to prepare much for the guests.  He wou
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A Greninja TF
“Don’t go into the basement.”  That’s what Will’s brother Jason had told him day after day.  Will, being a typical 8-year-old, was only made more curious about the basement by his older brother’s insistence that he keep out.  Jason had been known to spend hours down in the cold, sparsely furnished rooms below, bringing all sorts of strange packages and tools down there, and rarely bringing them back up.
Will had asked his parents about what Jason was doing down there, but they hadn’t been too helpful.  His mother told him that Jason was “just wasting his time and money down there.”  His dad, meanwhile said he was “chasing fairy-tales and pseudoscience,” saying that the only reason he allowed it was “Jason’s got to be allowed to make his own mistakes so he can learn from them.”  Both parents had gone out of their way to make it clear to will that he woul
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Development Cycle (Arceus TF contest entry)
Everything was slowly grinding to a halt.  There was no denying it at this point.  All throughout Kalos and Hoenn, hundreds, no, thousands, of the most promising trainers were vanishing.  The berries they planted slowly withered and died unattended.  Their teams of Pokemon, whether carried with them, or left in the PC boxes, entered hibernation, if they were lucky, or vanished alongside them.  The GTS’s once thriving trade economy now carried nothing but a few long unclaimed offers on Bunnelby.  The Gym Leaders and Elite Four could only stand and watch as the trainers they had seen rise to the championships seemed to lose interest in the world around them, spending less and less time training and battling, before disappearing without a trace.
Arceus sighed as it watched the world it had created slowly wind down.  It no longer had the power to keep this world lively and enjoyable on its own.  Shakily rising to all fours, it psychically reach
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Former Foes Find Freedom in Flaming Flight
“Prepare for trouble!”
“And make it double!”
Ash and his friends sighed as the familiar theme tune played in what had once been the quiet background noise of the forest.  He never actually figured out the source of the music; it was probably coming from the well –worn hot air balloon Team Rocket had leapt out of, but he never really had a way to check.
“To protect the world from devastation!”
“To unite all peoples within ou-“
“Come on, you guys, it hasn’t even been a day since the last time you tried to kidnap Pikachu.  Would you just give it a rest?”  The irked trainer muttered. 
“Ugh, how rude!”  Jessie dropped her pose.   “We spend hours every night practicing this routine!  The least you can do is not interrupt.”
“Woooo-bbuffet!”  The blue Pokemon agreed.
Brock attempted to reason with them.  “Look, you’ve tried to
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Narrative Casualty
A Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds TF fanfic by a guy who knows next to nothing about Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds.  What could possibly go wrong?
Jack Atlas was standing on the side of the road, deep in thought as he plotted his next evil scheme.
"I wonder if the Kentucky Fried McBurger King down the street has any specials on Wednesdays."
That doesn't count as deep thought, Jack.  Or an evil scheme, for that matter.
"Well excuse me, mister narrator!" Jack said in an irritating voice.  "Don't you know it's rude to go around reading people's minds?"
Just cooperate, okay?
"Fine."  Jack groaned.  "I should challenge Yusei Fudo to a duel today.  Because I certainly didn't have anything better to do today, mister narrator.  Not… At… All…"
After acknowledging that he was a waste of space, Jack-
"It's called 'Sarcasm,' you Nimrod!"
I'll take that as a compliment.  Jack headed down on his motorcycle to challenge Yusei.  Afte
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The Emeralds Guardian
A Pokemon fanfic
Emma Roldin swung her sword with all her might.  She was engaged in one of the most important Pokemon battles of her life; so important, in fact, that when her last Pokemon fainted, she didn't flee back to a Pokemon center, but took up her blade to finish the fight herself.  
Her opponent, a grizzly Ursaring, was very surprised that a human was attacking him directly, giving the woman a chance to strike two quick blows, leaving deep gashes in the bear's right arm.  
The Pokemon's trainer, an imposing man dressed in blue, was equally surprised, but regained his composure much quicker.  "Ursaring!  Don't waste time!  Slash her!"
Emma swung her sword again, slashing the Ursaring's left paw as it dove for her.  She looked at the man in disgust.  She and Sir Conrad had been racing to the treasure of the desert, the Emerald of Life, though for very different reasons.  Living her whole l
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A Derpy Gift
Warning:  the following fanfic contains copious amounts of Pony.  And by copious, I mean two.
I lay on my bed, restless but happy as I stared out the window at the falling snow.  Ever since I was I kid, I always had trouble going to sleep on Christmas Eve.  Each year, my mind was always buzzing with guesses on the gifts I'd get the next day, and even though I've become a teen, it was a hard habit to loose.  Granted, the fact that I had stayed up until midnight watching My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic probably didn't help me get to sleep any easier, but a brony needs his daily dose of Rainbow Dash.  However, my energy was slowly draining, and my eyes were finally starting to close.  I finally gave into sleep, when all of a sudden…
Something big hit the window of my room.  It stuck there for a few moments, before slowly sliding off it and down to the ground below.  Now,
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Start from Zero
Ceil ran through the darkened forest, her legs on the verge of collapsing.  As three gunshots rang out, she and her mechanical companions continued with all the strength and speed they could muster.   They clambered over the metal supports at the bases of the trees, reminders of a world so ravaged by war that nothing at all could survive on its own.
"This is your final warning, Mavericks!" A cold, synthesized voice called.  "Surrender immediately, and any humans in your party will be spared, and all Reploids given a fair trial.  Resist, and all humans found will be executed and all Reploids, retired."  
"Fair trial my eye."  Parrie mumbled as he ran beside Ceil.  He turned and readied his rifle. "This is what I think of your "'fair trials!'" He cried in frustration as he fired several rounds at their pursuers.
Colbur motioned for Parrie to stop.  "You're just giving us a better idea about our position
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Requested Story: Eelektrifying
Note:  This fan fiction contains minor spoilers for the names of locations and characters in Pokemon Black and White, but no major plot points from these games are discussed.  If you have not played either yet, and wish to keep these names a surprise, stop reading.
This fan fiction also contains transformation elements.  If such content annoys or disturbs you, please stop reading.
Finally, as with many fan fictions, this story assumes the reader has some familiarity with the work it's based on, in this case, the Pokemon video games, primarily Black and White Versions.  
If none of this bothers you, please, enjoy.

I like to think of myself as a decent Pokemon Trainer.  Team of six lovingly raised Pokemon, carefully balanced moves and types, five badges.  I'd like to think I was less gullible than this.  
It had started when I was in Driftveil City.  I had just won an easy battle against an inexperienc
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The Winter Wolf.
Winter:  That time of year when snow starts falling.  To the people of our time, it likely conjures up images of skiers, children sledding and engaging in snowball fights, and snowmen watching with envy as families share cups of hot coco and gifts around the Christmas tree.  
Yet, cozy in our homes, we often forget that not two hundred years ago, our predecessors didn't have things quite so easy.  I'd be lying if I said that there was no enjoyment at all in the winter, but their lives were far more difficult then ours.  
Food and firewood needed to be carefully rationed, and game was scarce.  Even though houses offered protection from wind and snow, they did little to keep the occupants warm if no fire was burning.  It's not surprising, then, that winter split many more families then than it does now.  Many parents were left childless; many children had their parents torn from them.  Those who cou
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The Honey Princess.
Note:  This is a Pokemon Fanfiction.  It is part of a collaborative project with my friend Apollo94.  To fully understand this story, it is recommended that you first read Life as a Lugia and Discovered.  Links to both will be provided below.
The young girl Holly was sitting in the middle of a lonely field, idly collecting flowers.  When her older siblings wanted something, they had always sent her to do the work, and Holly complied without complaint.  But whenever she would ask them for help with her pet projects, they were always too busy.  
Holly wished she had somebody she could ask for help.  "I'd never be too busy to help them back."  She thought.  
As she plucked flowers and put them in her basket, someone walked up to her.  "Hello there!"  The woman said to Holly.  "What are you doing?"
"I'm making a bouquet!"  Holly sm
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Rise of a Metagross
Note:  This is a Pokemon Fanfiction.  It is part of a collaborative project with my friend Apollo94.  To fully understand this story, it is recommended that you first read Life as a Lugia and Discovered.  Links to both will be provided below.
Anastasia Isaacs was not having a good day.  Her friends were vanishing left and right, and rather than dedicate pages in the newspaper about how locals should watch for missing children, some sensationalist garbage about odd creatures photographed on the internet took up the valuable space instead.  
"Most likely photoshopped anyway."  She grumbled as she looked out the coffee shop window.  "Some people will believe anything."  
She continued to shuffle through the paper, hoping for any information on her missing classmates, when someone stepped into the shop.  Looking over her paper, Anastasia could see her friend, Sara, who h
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Winter Memories
Snowpoint Temple was the one place in Sinnoh a person would be guaranteed peace and quite.  Largely undisturbed due to being placed off limits to all but the Pokemon League Champions, this year's champion, a boy by the name of Scott, naturally chose to come here to seek solitude.  
The recent champ was feeling just as cold and empty as the temple was.  And not without reason: shortly after coming back home to Snowpoint City, he had been given horrible news.  His girlfriend, Celia, had gone to investigate some strange events at Acuity Lake, and never came back.  
While her supplies were found mere days later, Scott wished they hadn't been.  They were scattered about, and her clothes torn, bloodied, and burned.  Scott knew it in his head, but just couldn't bear to accept the truth:  That Celia would never come back.  He felt as if his world would always be missing something.
  He walked do
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Ace Attorney Investigations
Full title: Ace Attorney Investigations review
Whenever a series is created, it's almost inevitable that one character will end up more popular than the rest, typically a villain or morally uncertain rival.  When this happens in video games, it's not uncommon for a spin-off series to be made starring the character.  Sometimes this results in a series that is every bit a good, and sometimes even better than the original (Wario Land, Megaman Zero), other times… not so much (Shadow the Hedgehog).  
The game we're reviewing today, Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth is one such spin-off.  Taking the role of Miles Edgeworth, the calm, professional, and logical rival to the protagonist of the first Ace Attorney games, players can search crime scenes and interview witnesses in hopes of discovering the culprits behind the various murders, eventually leading to taking down an international smuggling ring.  
From a gameplay perspect
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nice lightscreen :iconheges:Heges 50 8 Daily Paint 1584. Newtella :iconcryptid-creations:Cryptid-Creations 4,198 123 Commission: SPOON! :iconbakki:bakki 448 85 ZalaCambio into Anthro Bat - TF TG :iconmizuhotf:MizuhoTF 67 2 COM - Horsing Around :iconscissorsrunner:ScissorsRunner 75 6 Commission: The Rise of the Cobra Cola 06 :iconsepisnake:SepiSnake 70 10 DreamBringer :iconnolhyaa:Nolhyaa 42 18 Daily Paint 1582. Teapir :iconcryptid-creations:Cryptid-Creations 2,701 60 Shaymin :icondekunobou-kizakura:dekunobou-kizakura 115 4 COM - Party in da House :iconscissorsrunner:ScissorsRunner 46 13 Hareberd Bunny :iconmaxsilverfox:MaxSilverfox 9 7 [Doodle Animated] Lyra X Lyre :iconvavacung:vavacung 471 39 Ware Wa Messia Nari V2 :icontomycase:Tomycase 432 66 Encounter :icontrubbol:Trubbol 21 12 Am I the night yet? :iconalessio-scalerandi:Alessio-Scalerandi 162 27 Blaster Master Zero :icontomycase:Tomycase 357 24


Haruhi came fashionably late as always, and shouted dramatically, "SOS brigade! I have a new project for us!"

Kyon sighed, while Itsuki smiled as usual.  "What's our mission for today?"

Huruhi grinned, "I got bored last night."

‘NEVER a good thing.’  Kyon thought.

"And I was flipping through some art magazines, and I came across this thing called 'live sculptures!'"

Students could almost hear Mikuru gulping several rooms over, at the thought of whatever new poses and costumes she end up in this time.  

"What's the matter? Scared to show off your body?"  Haruhi said.

“Uh, n-no, Haruhi..."  She sputtered.

"You mean that thing where a bunch of people stand around for hours and pretend to be statues?"  Kyon asked.  "Sounds like a waste of time to me."

"Are you saying that Yuki and Mikuru's bodies are something to be ashamed of?"

Itsuki asked, "Why did I get left out?"

Kyon shook his head.  "No, no, Mikuru definitely doesn't have anything to be ashamed of.  I'm just saying I can think of better ways to spend a weekend than standing stock-still."

"But just imagine! People seeing someone as a work of art! Immortalized. In their memory, and it's certainly cheaper than paying a sculptor. We might even inspire artists TO make sculptures. Besides, I checked the law books, it'll count as 'performance art' so there's nothing to worry about."

Realizing yet again the futility of trying to stop Haruhi once her mind was settled on something, Kyon shrugged.  "So, what exactly do you have in mind for us?  Are we all just going to walk into the art club and pose for a few hours?"

"You'd like that wouldn't you," Haruhi said, "But no, we're going to be doing this outside, where people can see! Don't worry, this is my project, no one is going to be touching anyone. I do have standards after all."

Kyon found that hard to believe.

"We're also setting up fliers, anyone who wants to be a statue will be free to sign up! I just can't decide whether to go with body makeup or skin tight bodysuits and makeup... "

Kyon pondered which of those Mikuru might look more attractive in, while Itsuki smiled.  "That sounds like a lot of fun.  I'd recommend the bodysuits myself.  I speak from experience that it's far easier to clean up."

Now there was a mental image Kyon could have done without.

"I'll begin work on the fliers,"  Yuki stated, putting down her book, and moving over to the computer.

Kyon asked, "But aren't you the least bit worried, even if it's 'legal' doesn't mean there aren't going to be a lot of angry parents."

That somewhat made Haruhi slightly think things over. "What would you suggest?"

"Drop it."

"Not good enough... Well, if we were using the body suits, no one will be technically naked, maybe if we used body makeup combined with some cups to hide the naughty bits, but would that make everyone look like dolls instead of statues? Oh! And we'll use white contacts for the eyes!  Do you think we should use wigs or maybe hair dye, or just use clay so it has the consistency of stone? I want the illusion to be perfect!"

"Yes, cups are good..."  Mikuru nodded.  "Better than nothing, at least..."  One could almost hear Mikuru gulping several rooms over, again.

"I suppose dye would be the more comfortable option, though the clay would help add to the illusion by not blowing in the breeze,"  Itsuki said.

"Why are you encouraging her?" Kyon asked.

"Don't you have any appreciation for the arts, Kyon?  A little display like this could really help spark our school's creativity."  Kyon was tempted to reiterate the other things it could spark, but it probably wouldn't get through anyone's head this time either.  Mikuru shivered, hugging herself, not liking the idea of being Haruhi's dress up doll again. But at least she wouldn't be alone for once.

"So WHEN are we doing this?" Kyon asked. "And where?"

"It's gonna be the Saturday after next!  I wanna give people some time to see the fliers, but I don't wanna wait too long to get it started.  As for location, I'm thinking either the park down the road, or right in front of the school itself."

Mikuru tried to think of which was likely to be less embarrassing, in front of so many students, or in front of many more strangers.

Yuki asked, "If this project is intended to be an inspiration to the student body, or an inspiration to the public in general? They carry different methods after all."

"I am going to be sending a message! For too long the human body has been treated as a thing of shame, rather than thing of beauty! As far too long as the nude been ripped away from its origin as a symbol of purity and innocence, and into a symbol of sexuality!"

"You're one to talk,"  Kyon muttered.

"Such a noble endeavor, Haruhi!"  Itsuki clapped.  "In that case, the park is the place to go.  We can let the whole community see the beautiful true nature of the human body, as it was meant to be."

Mikuru shuddered once more at the thought.  "Could we do it off the beaten path, just a little?"  She asked, already knowing the answer.

"What?! But that would defeat the whole point!" Haruhi exclaimed. "This isn't Jewish art being crammed into a corner by Nazi Germany!"

Kyon thought, ‘Yes, we are so not under the sway of an over emotional dictator with delusional ideals.’

"Exactly!"  Itsuki said.  "Art needs to stand out to truly be effective.  We can't just go around censoring everything!"

"As such, all ages, genders, and creeds are permitted!" Haruhi declared dramatically.

Now this made even Yuki and Itsuki pause.

‘Well, at least Haruhi supports equal opportunity embarrassment,’  Kyon thought.

"Is it truly advisable to permit minors to be exposed to both observers, and any potential weather conditions, for the purpose of your art?  Parents will be far more likely to complain if even younger demographics are permitted,"  Yuki said.

Haruhi gave Yuki a look that could twist steel.  Yuki keep her face completely calm.  "This about art! Have ANY OF YOU heathens even LOOKED at the Sistine Chapel?! Today Michelangelo Would have been arrested for no fault of his own! Agh!"  Haruhi crossed her arms in a rather childish pout herself. "We'll accept them if there is a trusted legal guardian nearby during their performance, will that make you happy?"

Getting anything from Haruhi was like pulling teeth, and Kyon KNEW that Itsuki would be slaying a lot of Celestials this evening.  

"That should be an acceptable compromise,"  Itsuki nodded.

"A leader should be willing to do what she commands of her subordinates," Kyon said.

"Statues need an artist!" Haruhi said proudly and standing tall. "Unless you're volunteering for that Kyon."

"You mean you're making all the body suits?"  Kyon raised an eyebrow.  "I'm surprised you'd think about taking that much responsibility. But if it means not having to stand near-naked in the sun all day, I'll consider it."

"I could make the suits if you want..."  Mikuru whispered, hoping for an out.

"What? Are you worried about your body not being about to stand against mine? I'd never accept such a cowardly concession!"

"Didn't you say this was for the art, not who had the bigger bust?" Kyon sighed.

Itsuki smirked. "What's the matter Kyon? Can't decide if you want to be a duet with Haruhi, or want to see Mikuru and Haruhi side by side?"

"Oh knock it off!"  Kyon groaned, hoping nobody else would realize how close to the truth he was.  "I'll take care of it for the members of the SOS Brigade."

"Are you SURE you can actually do DO THAT Kyon? Are you really any good at it?" Mikuru asked.

"If it means getting to avoid making a fool out of myself for just one weekend, I'll be willing to learn.  That said, I can get materials and measurements for the SOS brigade but I don't know how you, or anyone else will be able to make suits for every potential volunteer."

‘Not that I expect many people to be submitting themselves to this willingly,’ Kyon thought to himself.

"And don't forget about stone pillars and plaques!" Haruhi added, her brain still going. "And make sure there are pictures taken! I am not trusting flawed human brains to remember this glory! Oh! And should the plaque have the personal names of whoever is the statue, or should we be more creative with the titles?"

"Good thinking, Haruhi,"  Itsuki nodded.  "And I say that a creative title will help the work stand out more in the eyes of the audience."

"And I say that I'm not coming up with a pretentious name for every idiot that shows up."  Kyon said.

Mikuru internally debated if having a "creative" name on the plaque would be enough to help preserve her reputation.

"Humph, isn't the artist supposed to come up with the names?  What a poor artist you'll be Kyon." Haruhi said. "If I'm going to be your work of art, you'd better be good."

"Shouldn't the art speak for itself?" Kyon did his best to defend.

"Statues don't talk." Haruhi said.

'At least I'll get a few hours of glorious silence then.' Kyon thought. And it's not like anyone is going to volunteer for this anyway.'

"Alright, we'll go with 'creative' names, if it means I get to keep some semblance of dignity."  Kyon sighed.  "I hope these plaques aren't too expensive..."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of THAT!" Haruhi said with her ghoulish confidence.  At least Kyon didn't have to worry about mob connections when it came to Haruhi (so far).

"Well, that seems to settle everything,"  Itsuki said.  "I look forward to being forever immortalized as 'The pinnacle of beauty' by Kyon."

"Now remember, Kyon, we'll be need eye contacts, bodysuits, cups, face make up, clay... Oh! And should our statues stand on their own? Or is there any kind of quick dry plaster they can lay their feet on, we can buy for them to stand longer without getting tired? I don't want any of us slipping and breaking our necks."

"That is... surprisingly considerate of you."

"I don't want any bad press for my vision!"

"Of course."

"The Hardware store five blocks to the north of the school sells several varieties of plasters,"  Yuki noted.

"Thank you Yuki! Kyon, you'll pay for it."

"Why me?!"

"You're the artist, duh."

‘So now it comes down to my money or my dignity, does it?’  Kyon thought.  ‘Oh well, I wasn't really hoping to be able to afford my own car by college.’

Yuki added, "They are also having a sale, as of... 30 seconds ago."

"That's the first bit of good news I've heard all day."

"You're welcome," Yuki said extremely low.

“Well! Now that we have everything set! Get those fliers posted! The more who see them the better! And make sure you fast before Saturday, I am NOT having any of us statues take bathroom breaks!"

"Naturally, Haruhi,"  Itsuki nodded.  Mikuru let out a small sigh.


Kyon arrived at the park early Saturday morning.  "Never would have thought I'd be so unhappy that it wasn't raining on a day I planned to spend in the park,"  He sighed, and started setting up the plasters as the rest of the SOS Brigade arrived.  "All the suits are in the backpack,"  Kyon said.  "There's a restroom just over there where you guys can change."

Meanwhile, a locally owned delivery truck arrived, carrying with it about a half dozen or so stout pillars that looked like they'd been pilfered from a roman ruin. And on each one was a brass blank plaque.  "I brought the equipment for when you decide on our names as statue," Yuki said effortlessly holding up the engraving tools.

Kyon realized there was one more pillar than there were SOS members. "Oh dear God, someone actually volunteered to those fliers for this nonsense?!"

"Hiii Onichan!"

"OH NO!"

"I"m gonna be a work of art!"

"This can't be right!"

"We agreed that she could participate as long as she had the supervision of a legal guardian right?" Haruhi said, "And since you're our artist rather than one of the statues, I'd say you count!"

"Well yes, but...  Did you put her up to this?  Are there some sort of laws on coercion I can cite here?"

"Nope, I just saw those fliers and thought it'd be fun to have Onichan make me a statue!"

Kyon sighed. "Speak a word of this to no one. Ugh! I mean, just be good! Uh! Just remember to say anything if you want to quit and just want to go home early."

"Alright Onichan! ... Should I keep my braid on?"

"It's not made of stone," Haruhi said, "unless you want to color it all white with some paint."

"I'll take it off then,"  She said.  

Kyon turned to Haruhi.  "So, who else is subjecting themselves to this?"

"That's it,"  Haruhi crossed her arms.  "I can't imagine why people would want to miss out on something like this."

"I can think of quite a few,"  Kyon muttered.

"It seems people just don't have an appreciation for the arts anymore."  Itsuki sighed.

Mikuru and Yuki came out of the bathroom, dressed in their suits already, Kyon's sister following a little later.  If nothing else, seeing Mikuru like this was one upside to this whole ordeal for Kyon.

Then Itsuki emerged, from the restroom, and Kyon was immediately back to his usual disposition.  "Ah, these suits feel absolutely Fantastic Kyon!  Your work is top-notch.  Are you sure you wouldn't like to let Haruhi be the artist, and try this out with me?"

"I am perfectly fine with my decision, yes.  You should probably start getting into character, though.  We wouldn't want you hurting the illusion by talking any more."

Itsuki let out a loud and fully good natured laugh."I see your dry wit hasn't been worn down by the occasion at least!"

"How about you get on your contacts while I start working on the makeup and clay for the girls."

"Oh fine fine! Just don't go touching anything you shouldn't!"

"You know, I think I just came up with a name for your statue, the Agonizing Fool."

"What's my Statue's name gonna be, Onichan?"

"Well, I guess 'The Sweetness of Youth’ is a good one."  Kyon said as he applied her makeup.  ‘Though 'Youthful choices I'll regret in 10 years' might be more fitting,’  He thought to himself.  "That or Impish Angel," Kyon added, only then realizing he'd spoken out loud, and covered his mouth, but his sister just giggled.

"That one sounds fun!"  His sister said, as the makeup was finished.

Kyon turned to Mikuru next, and began carefully applying her makeup, doing his best to not look like he was enjoying the view more than he should.  Mikuru stayed silent, and fidgeted, she had to endure pretty much any of Haruhi's childish antics as part of her mission. But she felt embarrassed beyond measure, and really just wanted to run and hide. "I don't supposed you could apply some clay and make up so I don't have a face?"

"... I'm not sure I could enable you to breath like that... And I'm not sure I could hide a face like yours," Kyon realized he'd spoken out loud again.

Itsuki let out a small laugh.  "My, such a romantic, aren't we?

"Statues don't talk."

"So what should we call Mikuru for this?" Itsuki asked ignoring what he said.

"... Timeless Beauty, is that alright with you Mikuru-chan?"

"It... it is!" Mikuru might have been blushing through the make up, but Kyon couldn't tell.  As Kyon applied the clay to her hair, Mikuru hoped it wouldn’t be too difficult to remove later.

Kyon attended to Yuki next.  "And how about you?  Perhaps 'Knowledge from Beyond?'"

"Whatever name you choose will be sufficient. I would suggest Creation 00003. But yours does hold more artistic merit."

"I feel like that name would Imply that'd make a lot more of these than I'd be willing to."  

Finally, Haruhi emerged from the restroom, in her suit, though without her usual headband.  "Look at you!  All beautiful works of art!  My genius is showing through!"

"I did all the work,"  Kyon grumbled.

"My instructions, my design, my lay out, my step by step orders."

Kyon had to admit though, Haruhi did have a point, looking at his sister and friends now, except when they moved or spoke, with how the sun shone, he'd almost mistake them for 'modest nude' statues.  When Kyon turned to speak to Haruhi... he was left breathless... He was worried he was going to get a nose bleed. Haruhi was... she was beautiful, she was divine. "The Goddess," He heard himself say.

"That the name we're going with? A little over the top if you ask me, but if you insist, I can go for it."

"Er, right, that's what we're going with,"  Kyon said, catching himself.  "Now, everybody, find a position you're comfortable in.  You're gonna be there for a while.  And again:  'Statues don't talk'."

Haruhi began, "Shouldn't you pick the poses if you're the -"

"Statues don't talk."

Haruhi fumed a bit, but this had all been HER idea, and HER vision, and well, she was oblivious to her own flaws usually, but she did respect Kyon’s position as the artist at least in this instance, mainly because she gave it to him.

Yuki meanwhile, as fast as an assembly line, engraved their statue names onto the plaques without damaging the skin suit or smudging her makeup at all, in spite of wearing the white contacts.

Kyon hated to admit it, but Haruhi was right, his little sister did look like a cherub right out of one of one of Raphael's works.  Though he also admitted, this was kinda creepy, Haruhi had covered every possible angle. The body suits and cups hid any of the finer details that might have broken the illusion, the make up blended seamlessly into the suits, the eye contacts hid away that tell tale sign, white the light clay over their hair kept the wind from blowing it, effectively freezing it in place as a statue's would be.  It really was like he was looking at five statues rather than his sister and friends.

He looked at Mikuru again, and said, "And remember, have fun."  Mikuru nodded.

The five pedestals were set up, well in the public view. Haruhi's flyers had made sure people would know about this, and come.  "Now be sure to pick poses you're sure you can hold for the whole time," Kyon said.

Several students from their school had shown up, a number of them being boys hoping for a perverted peek or two, though they were a little disappointed.  Other passers-by stopped to look, a few commenting on how eerily convincing the scene was.

Haruhi was practically beaming with pride.  She knew this would be a success!  She and her friends made excellent statues!  She was quite enjoying the attention, and it made her all the more eager to keep holding her pose.  She wasn't about to let people think she was just some fake, even for a second.  A good statue had no trouble staying in place.  And certainly no statue fit to be called "The goddess" would move.  Putting herself in that frame of mind, it suddenly seemed so simple to stay still; even her breathing seemed to slow.

Haruhi's pose was her legs spread out, firmly pointed forward, with her hands firmly on her hips, her back straight and her chest out, head held high, a commanding presence on her face that drew a sense of command from any who looked at her.

Mikuru, meanwhile, had her hands folded together before her, as she stood up with a small smile on her face.  She seemed to give off a look of gentle consideration, as if she was ready to listen to any observer's concern.

Kyon's little sister, was wondering about doing a Sailor Moon victory pose, or sitting down with her legs 'kicking' off the pedestal.  She ultimately settled into a Sailor Moon victory pose.  ‘Good thing this isn't gonna be up long enough to get us a copyright strike,’  Kyon thought.

Yuki, surprisingly, did not take a simple, neutral, standing pose, but instead, sat on her pedestal, her head looking at her hands, as if she was reading an invisible book.

Itsuki, meanwhile, bore a wide smile.  ‘Then again, when was the last time I saw him with anything else?’  Kyon thought.  Itsuki stood in the middle of a smug stride, looking ready to show off for anyone who glanced his way.

As Mikuru stood there, she started to feel more at ease with this.  Sure, people were coming and staring, but it felt less like the were ogling, and more like they were admiring her.  She and her friends were simply there to remind people of the simple beauty of the human body, not just to be dress up dolls.  Her heartbeat slowed from the frantic nervousness she had been experiencing before.

Haruhi held steady even as more strangers began to pass by and comment on the life-like "statues."  Yes, The Goddess and her friends made perfect sculptures; nobody would suspect the truth...  The only way the illusion could be better was if they had been statues in the park from the start.  And so, The Goddess focused, trying to get into character perfectly.  If she had been a statue from the beginning, how would she have felt?  Well, the crowds coming to see her wouldn't be that special, which frankly, they weren't... Art such as hers would command their attention day by day anyway.  She wouldn't be feeling hungry, or thirsty, either.  Not that she was, the attention almost seemed to sate her on its own.  Yes, the goddess and her fellow statues were flawless, inspirational creations, that would last for generations.  Notions of movement even to catch a breath, seemed increasingly silly to her.  Why would the Goddess hinder her perfect beauty with even the slightest budging?  Her creator, Kyon, wouldn’t make a statue that shook.

The Impish Angel, meanwhile, who had initially had trouble focusing on staying still, was finding it more and more natural to do so.  If anything, it took more effort to try disrupt her cheerful pose.  Which would make sense; she had been holding that position for as long as she could remember, staying silent, watching her smile bring smiles to the people around them...  Few things brought her greater joy.

Yuki had been aware of the possibility of the event unfolding like this.  Of her consciousness being changed, her awareness being replaced by "Knowledge from Beyond."  Of course, Knowledge From Beyond might have some awareness of the multiple timelines as well.  Perhaps it only made sense that she could know that in one timeline, she could be both Knowledge From Beyond, and Yuki Nagoto.  But this was not that timeline.  All evidence was pointing to a timeline in which she was always a sculpture, always Knowledge From Beyond.  To acknowledge the timelines involving Yuki Nagoto would be a futile endeavor, as a simple statue would have no means to act on this knowledge, and Knowledge from Beyond knew she needed to fill the role of a statue.

Itsuki took his role as the agonizing fool in stride, as any good agonizing fool would.  He always took pride in showing off his figure, regardless of how appropriate it was.  Could he do anything less?  Had he ever done anything less?  Of course not!  What could be as important as displaying the beauty of the male body, in a display otherwise overrun with women?  How would men of future generations be able to pride in their forms, if they were only told women could be beautiful?  Their creator wouldn’t be satisfied if the Agonizing Fool let his sisters do all the work.  He may have been agonizing to some, but he hardly saw any of this as foolish.

Finally, the Timeless Beauty found herself embracing her title with gusto.  No longer did she feel like hiding her true self from the world; her's was a charm and a gift of nature, a gift that would be shared with others, something to aspire toward.  But unlike the creatures that admired her, her beauty would stay constant.  There was something to be said of the new forms of beauty their fragile forms would take, if one opened their perspectives, but hers was to serve as an elegance that would stand true, even through the eons, alongside her brother and sisters.

Kyon, meanwhile, sat back, and enjoyed watching the crowds come and go.  He had gone through a lot of work to immortalize these masterpieces.  Though he still couldn't shake the feeling there was something unnatural about the way those pedestals suddenly went on sale.  Still, it was nice to finally have something of his be appreciated, and he couldn't help but feel as if these statues were his most treasured friends, in some small way.  It was great to see others show the same interest in them as he did.  While he sincerely felt like his work was vulnerable out here outside, exposed to the pigeons, the wind and rain, they'd certainly were getting more attention here than they'd get squared away in some private collection.

"Excuse me, Kyon? You're the the artist of these statues?"

Kyon turned to see it was the president of the school computer club. "That would be me."

"I was wondering if I could purchase one of them on behalf of my family, I think Impish Angel would great in our garden. And have you considered donating 'Knowledge From Beyond' to the school library? I think it would liven up the place."

Kyon frowned.  "I'm sorry sir, but I really feel that these statues complement each other too well to go individually.  They're...  Almost like friends, in a way, as strange as that sounds,"  Kyon didn't really like to think of himself as the sentimental type, and he DID want his statues to be someplace they'd be cared for, but still, he couldn't shake the feeling that they worked best together.

"I know artists can get attached to their works... "

"Besides, I don't think I'd want any of them in a private collection.  These are supposed to be a statement about the purity and innocence of the human body in it's natural state, for all the world to see.  To restrict that message to just one family and whatever friends they invite to see their collection would get in the way of that."

"If this is about me feeling up 'The Goddess' in your studio, I assure you that was NOT what it looked like," The computer club president said in honesty.

"I understand,"  Kyon wasn't QUITE sure why he believed the computer club president, but he knew he wasn't lying.  "Some art has a way of making people do strange things.  "The Goddess in particular..."

"Is that why you have her in the center?"

"She wouldn't have it any other way."

"You talk about it like she was alive."

"Art is alive, all works of art have their personalities, feelings, and messages they speak out."

"Yeah, the guy statue certainly seems like it would be the type that wouldn't shut up about himself,"  One of the attendees noted.

"Aren't you worried about being dated with Angelic Imp having a pose from a copyrighted character?"

"Well, yes, but sometimes, you just have to accept that there's nothing new under the sun, and I don't think the pose itself is copyrighted."

‘At least, I hope it isn't,’  Kyon thought to himself, then added, "Besides, she's a child, why wouldn't she have a childish pose."

"Fair point."  The guest shrugged.

"Why did you include a child statue?"

"To show innocence can still be art without being lewd."

"Fair enough. I just feel she's an odd sort for the rest."

"So is the Agonizing Fool, but I didn't want just female statues."

Meanwhile some of the crowd started taking pictures of Kyon’s statues.  Kyon didn't try to stop them.  He figured that the photos would only allow more people to see his creations, and maybe even motivate some more people to come see them in person.  Plus, he felt The Goddess would approve.

"So if you had to pick a favorite, which would it be?"

"That's like choosing between family."

"Really? You sincerely don't have a favorite?"

"Well, I'll admit I'm protective of Impish Angel, I remember have happened to Kiki The Witch."

"Well, I did notice you staring at Timeless Beauty quite a bit when you were working on those things back at the art club,"  A classmate pointed out.

"I just thought she really represented the female form well,"  Kyon stammered.

"And here I thought you'd say the goddess was your favorite."

"The Goddess has something special about her that ties them all together,"  Kyon countered.  "Just because she's not the epitome of feminine beauty doesn't mean she can't stand out on her own.  She's got a commanding presence, and a way of making sure things happen the way she wants them to."

"That's a lot of detail for just a statue."

"A lot of heart and soul went into these.  It's hard not to see them as having personalities all their own.  Though really, that's true of most art, if you take the time to appreciate it."

"So would you say each of the girls represents an Id, Ego, Super-Ego, and inner child, or am I reading too much into it?"

"I guess that's a way of looking at it...  It wasn't really on my mind at the time, but it does fit."

"So you're really sure you won't sell?"
"Not to any private collections, and not individually.  These are meant to be for the public at large, not just one family."

"Alright. But you should seriously consider doing more, these beauties turned out brilliantly. You really do feel the life from them."

"I honestly don't know if I have it in me to do any more like this.  I don't like to get sentimental, but I feel like art with this kind of life to it has some irreplaceable, impossible to imitate quality to it."

"I can appreciate artists who say that sort of thing. Want this to be your great big boom eh?"

"That about sums it up."

"The goddess, I could worship her," One of Kyon's schoolmates remarked with a grin.

"Probably best not to feed her ego like that.  She might start ordering you around."

"Good thing statues don't talk then."

"Art has a way of getting its message across without speaking."

"If you don't plan to sell them, are you just going to leave them in the park?"

"I don't have the money to give them a proper tour, though I wouldn't mind a larger audience being allowed to see them. And I wouldn't want to risk them being damaged in a subpar effort. And I really do want to give them as much exposure as possible."

"Well, were it up to me, these would definitely be worthy of a place in a museum,"  One woman said.

"Well as I said, what I want most is for them to be seen as many people as possible, and at least they do liven up the park some. And museum rotate through their statues, I wouldn't want them put into storage, possibly away from each other."

As Kyon was addressing his audience’s various questions, Knowledge from Beyond contemplated her current situation.  She knew she wasn’t the only one altered by The Goddess’s abilities, and though the reprogramming of reality had made her disinclined to undo the change, she still wished to ensure her friends were feeling alright.  Thus, accessing her old data manipulation protocols, she created a “chat program” to allow the statues to communicate with each other.

KfB: Hello Goddess, Impish Angel, Timeless Beauty, and Agonizing Fool.  Are you all in stable and optimal condition?

Impish Angel: Whoa, who’s that?!

KfB: This is Knowledge from Beyond, creation 0004.

Impish Angel: Statues can talk to each other?

KfB: We are talking now aren't we? So therefore, we can. At least we can.

Agonizing Fool:  Ah, good to know.  I for one, would be happy to speak on any subject you would wish to hear about.  Especially if it's on the subject of male beauty.

Goddess:  I knew we would be able to attract a huge crowd.  Look at everyone, coming to admire my genius.

TB: Your Genius? Kyon is our creator.

Goddess: Well, had I not stirred it in his soul to create, none of us would be here, I know that for sure.

TB:  But wouldn't that mean you were influencing him before you existed?

Goddess:  Hmph, it seems that not even fellow art can see the complex beauty of the artistic process for what it is.

AF:  It seems our little Impish Angel is quite popular with this crowd.  I've heard whispers of no less than three separate offers to buy her individually.

Angelic Imp: Woopie! I'm popular! I wish I could go home with them, but then I wouldn't be with you.

TB:  I wouldn't want to leave you, either.

KfB:  While it is unlikely that our creator will willingly distribute us separately, it may be possible to manipulate the data on any sale made so that any persons purchasing one of us will own all of us.

TB:  Well, that's good to know, but I agree with our creator that we should be able to be seen by everyone, not just hidden in some private collection.
Goddess:  Of course we shouldn't! My beauty shouldn't be hidden away or hoarded... oh, and all of you of course... it would be boring to have nothing but mere worshippers around.

AF: And we certainly wouldn't be able to shine nearly as brightly without the light of our glorious goddess around.

Goddess: Happy to hear you see the truth of the matter.

KfB:  It may be possible to become publicly recognized fixtures of the park.  As Government property, we may potentially receive proper care and maintenance on a regular basis.

TB: But then we wouldn't belong to Kyon-San!

KfB:  That would be a regrettable additional effect, yes.  I too, do not wish to be separated from Kyon.

Goddess:... I can't say it would be the same without him.
AF: That would be kinda have to be accepted anyway, we'll be around long after he's gone.

Impish Angel:  Aww, I don't want to lose Kyon…

KfB: I believe the proper behavior for works of art, is for their creator to live on through them.

Impish Angel:  Yeah, I guess we'll have to help people see Kyon through us.

KfB:  Agreed. Modification of his data to art would create a paradox and possibly erase all beings and objects in the immediate area, including us.  This solution is far more feasible.

KfB:  Additionally, It might be possible to modify existing data, to create a replica of Impish Angel, enabling her sale while remaining with us.

Goddess: No way! We can't have cheap copies of us standing around!

TB:  I agree with the Goddess, Kyon made us unique, it would feel wrong to make some imitation without any soul contributing.

KfB: Oh that wouldn't be an issue, I referred to choosing a subject to modify into a new Impish Angel, but you second point still stands.

Impish Angel: How can ya do that? Can I do that?

KfB:  It is not possible for you.  The Knowledge from Beyond has a connection to this timeline's Integrated Data Entity, allowing for modification of data in local spacetime.

Goddess:  What's that? Why do you have that and not me?

KfB:  It is a unique property of Knowledge from Beyond, due to the nature of the "soul" the focus of her art embodies.

Goddess: Ah, like me being commanding and take care for me.

AF:  And my good looks and charm, astonishing all that see me.

KfB: And Timeless Beauty embodying the feminine form in all its glory.

TB:  And Impish Angel's youthful innocence.
KfB: I opened this communication channel so I might artesian that you are all in optimal condition.

TB:  Oh, right, sorry.  I'm feeling very good; everyone around me seems to admire my form, just like Kyon wanted.

Impish Angel:  I'm doing great!  It's fun to be popular!

AF:  I'm having a delightful time, basking in both our goddess's glory, and the attention of a loving public.

Goddess: Do you have to even ask?

KfB:  As everybody appears to be in optimal condition, I believe it is safe to end the communication functions for the time being, and continue our work to inspire humanity.  Is this acceptable to you?

Impish Angel: But I like us talking!

AF:  I certainly don't want to stop.

TB:  Even though I know we're all together anyway, I would feel a little lonely not being able to hear from you.

Goddess:  Definitely not!  How else are a goddess’ commands going to be heard?

KfB:  Very well, the channel will remain open.

AF: And what commands would we carry out oh goddess?

KfB: I detect that due to our unique existences and the souls used in our creation, we are able to subtly influence the behavior, decisions, and mood of the humans immediately around us.

KfB: And if there are any that we deem worthy, I should be able to modify their data so they become one of us.

Goddess:  That sounds like fun to me!  I'm all for saving the world by making people want to overload it with fun!

Meanwhile, some of the shyer girls passing by Timeless Beauty felt a tinge of confidence, a sense that, yes, they could be beautiful in their own ways.

KfB: I shall note that as our collective primary function my goddess.

Goddess: Good thinking, Knowledge.

Impish Angel began to reach out to the hearts of adults nearby, giving them a sense of notstalgia, and memories of a more innocent time in their lives.

Impish Angel:  Look, I got some people to smile!

TB: That's very good Angel!

Meanwhile, Agonizing Fool, chuckled to himself when a young man did the reckless and foolish thing by confessing to the girl he liked.  A handful of the people admiring Knowledge from beyond, in contrast, found themselves pondering how much they really knew about the world around them, a sense of curiosity awakening re-igniting.

Kyon sat back on a nearby bench, the crowd's questions having slowed enough to give him some peace.  He looked over the people examining his work.  Even as proud of it them as he was, he was still a bit surprised by the impact they seemed to be having on people.  He looked up at The Goddess.  "Looks like you all are making the world a more interesting place already,"  He whispered.

Knowledge From Beyond, some part of her that might still be Yuki, thought that optimally, happiness of the world would include their own, as part of the world. So she proceeded to ask logically:

KfB: Timeless Beauty, Agonizing Fool, My Goddess, Impish Angel, I wish to ask objectively, would any of you care to be flesh and blood humans rather than stone imitation of their form?

TB:  Oh, no, wouldn't that defeat the point of me being "timeless?"  As a human, I could inspire people with the peak of the feminine form for a few years, at most, and while there is a certain beauty to be found in age as well, I want to be able to help women find their own sense of elegance for years to come.

AF:  Oh, hardly.  It would be an utter waste of this wonderful physique.

Impish Angel:  Nope, I'm having fun being here with you guys, and not having to grow up and get some boring job.

KfB: So you prefer forever with us, thank to run and play as a human child would, and prefer to avoid the responsibilities that come with eventual adulthood, it will be noted.

Knowledge from Beyond then subtly altered Impish Angel's data, giving her a pair of cherub wings.

Impish Angel:  Aw, when you say it like that, it sounds like I'm trying to get out of chores…

KfB: It is your choice to make. No one else's.  I did not mean to berate your desire, I apologize.

Impish Angel:  It's alright.  I just wanna stay with you guys.
KfB: And what is your choice My Goddess?

Goddess:  If I became flesh and blood, nobody would consider me a proper goddess.

Impish Angel: Yippie! All big sisters and big brother are staying together!

TB: And it's lovely to have you with us too little sister.

Knowledge from Beyond then altered the data of her Goddess' stone body, increasing her size, making her stand a little big larger than life than a real human, increasing her height by 20%, making her just over six feet tall.  If anything, this just made people notice and admire her more.

Goddess:  Great!  Since we're all in agreement, we can call ourselves the SOS Brigade!  Statues Out to Save the world through art and inspiration!

Her little sisters and brother all mentally cheered and agreed.

Knowledge from Beyond then added a stone hourglass as part of Timeless Beauty's body, sitting on her pedestal, but also a part of her.  She added a stone book for herself, with complex mathematical equations, she felt it as it was also a part of her stone body, carved from the same piece of stone. She added a scepter to Agonizing Fool's own grip. Which retroactively they all remembered being sculpted as part of them.  Kyon meanwhile, would stumble upon  lottery ticket, giving him the cash to perform that tour after all.

The statues traveled all over Japan, inspiring confidence, nostalgia, recklessness, and curiosity wherever they went.  When the tour finally ended, they were returned to the park, where they were all given a stable foundation.  As the years went by, Kyon continued to drop by and see his  friends again, until he finally passed on.  Though the SOS brigade would miss him, they continued to keep his name alive, as even those from outside the country began to visit to see the works of art he created.

The End.
The Statues Of Haruhi Suzumiya
Another inanimate TF, this time a lightly edited RP done with a friend of mine (who wished to remain anonymous), after we were talking about how Haruhi's abilities had fun potential as a TF trigger, where the victims could remain oblivious due to the reality warping effects.  Though I've gotten more comfortable with inanimate TFs lately, I have to admit, I still don't fiddle with statues a lot, so I feel fairly good about how this turned out, relatively speaking.

Also, it's a bit of a pity the series pretty much died like it has.  It had some interesting concepts going for it.
A collaborative work between Maurili and Frozen-Doopliss

Two trainers, named Zach and Derek, were in the Pokemon Contest Hall, searching for clothing to match their Pokemon.

"This is proving a lot more difficult than I anticipated." Zach sighed. "Why don't there appear to be any clothes or accessories matching Dartrix? It's not as if they spontaneously came into being just this year..."

Derek seemed to be having troubles as well. "There's nothing here that would match with my Torracat either."

"Well, I guess we could try to make our own stuff." Zach shrugged, stepping out of the hall.

As the two went outside, they saw a number of small booths set up outside, taking advantage of the large crowd the contests always drew in order to sell all kinds of wares.

As the two trainers walked through the crowds, Zach noticed a booth that claimed to have "Accessories to make any trainer a perfect match to any and every Pokemon." It seemed far too small to have as much as it claimed, but Zach and Derek decided to take a look anyway.

"Welcome, welcome." The owner of the booth exclaimed, "I have all you want, and more, and best of all, IT"S FREE!!!" Both Derek and Zach were surprised by the man's appearance; he looked like a magician. "I know what you want... these!" The man showed them a strange green bowtie and a cat's bell. "Here they're the perfect accessories." Both Derek and Zach decided to wear them.

"Well, thank you, sir." Zach said, pretty surprised to be getting something he had been looking so hard for so easily and suddenly. He and Derek headed back into the contest hall, getting into the changing rooms to see which outfit their accessories worked best with.

As Zach tied the green bow around his neck, he began to feel a little strange.  His neck ached for a moment, and he fiddled with the tie, thinking he might have put it on too tightly. He twisted his neck back and forth a bit, trying to see if any movement made the pain better or worse. To his surprise, he ended up spinning he head around 180 degrees!
"What? H-how? How isn't this hurting me?" As he turned his face back to the mirror, he saw that his hair was starting to change, becoming a collection of brown and green feathers, which started to spread all over his head. "What's going ooowww-!" Zach winced, his teeth receding as his jaws and nose stretch out slightly, forming into a short beak, his lips pulling back into normal skin. White feathers rapidly began to grow over his face.

Recognizing his new face as matching his Dartrix, Zach figured the bowtie was responsible for the changes. He reached to pull it off, but it hurt as much as trying to pull his own fingers off. He tried to utter a pained swear, but his beak and vocal cords no longer permitted human speech. He then realized that the changing room was starting to look larger and larger, which must have meant that he was getting shorter as well. His clothes didn't seem to fit nearly as well as they had before, further confirming his suspicions that he was shrinking.

He debated whether he should try to open the door and look for help while some parts of him were still recognizably human, but that idea went out the window when his fingers began to shrink. His arms, no, his whole body, really, started to feel lighter, as his bones became hollow. Hundreds of long, white feathers, with the occasional splotches of brown and green, began to grow from his arms. He felt his shoulders shifting about, making folding his new wings against his sides feel much more comfortable.

His human torso began to shrink even more than the rest of his body, becoming somewhat rounder and proportionally shorter, making it harder to tell where his head ended, and his body began. His clothes dropped down around him, although at this point, his feathers provided some semblance of modesty. He felt the skin on his feet turn a little rougher, as they became far, far thinner. Three toes on each of Zach's feet shrank away to nothing, while the remaining toes became longer and thinner, the nails vanishing as the bones in the toes extended beyond the skin, sharpening into talons. Finally, the third talon on each foot shifted around, moving to the back.

Zach looked every which way, trying to find some way to undo this, or even just get out. He noticed the grate to the ventilation shaft in the ceiling was missing. Not wanting his Pokemon to be stolen, he picked up the Pokeball containing his Dartrix in his talon, and after a few false starts, flew into the vent, making his way outside.

While Zach was searching for a way outside Derek had put on the strange cat bell. "So cool, this looks like my Torracat's" he said as he put the bell on, and started to feel strange.

Black fur grew, all over his body, his hands and feet changed into paws. He felt a sharp pain in his back, as he was locked into a quadruped stance. He felt a tail grow behind him, and he could now clearly see that he was now a Torracat.

Both Derek and Zach worked their way outside, and met up in their new forms. They were shocked at first, but after some time, they encountered the same magician like man. "Haha so you liked my transformation accessories?" he said.

"What have you done to us?" Derek and Zach shouted.

"What? You did not like it? Well, I won’t tell you how to turn back... Bye!" And with that, the magician disappeared, leaving Derek and Zach confused. They knew they COULD turn back, but didn't know how.

Resigning themselves to their fates, they released their Pokemon from their balls. After some awkward re-introductions, the two Pokemon agreed to help their former trainers understand how to live in the wild. And they’ve lived there ever since.

Transforming Accessories (Dartix and Torracat TF)
A quick collab between me and Maurili.  I wrote the intro, a bit of the outro, handled spelling, grammar, and tense edits, and the Dartrix transformation.  maurili did the bits involving the magician, and the Torracat transformation.

Honestly, I don't feel as if I did too well with this, and wouldn't normally upload it.  But, to be polite to the other member of this collaboration, I'm uploading it anyway.  May move this to scraps later.
A Pokemon fanfic.

There was a scream, followed by a thud.  This thud was then followed by a groan.  All these sounds came from the same source; a teenaged trainer by the name of Dustin, who had just lost a Pokemon battle, and took his frustration out on a nearby tree, only to be painfully reminded that said tree was far more durable than his fist.  Still wincing, Dustin recalled his unconscious Whimsicott to its Pokeball.  He walked up to the trainer that had beat him, and shoved the prize money at him.  “Here!”  Dustin said.  “Take the money!  Your scrub tactics won’t save you next time.”

And with that, Dustin stomped off back to Blackthorn.  Entering the town’s Pokemon Center, he slammed the Pokeballs onto the counter.  The nurse restrained her sigh.  “Welcome back to the Pokemon Center.  Would you like me to heal your Pokemon?”

“Of course.”

“Okay, this will only take a few seconds.”  The nurse placed the balls on the healing machine, causing it to glow for a moment while playing the familiar jingle.  “Your Pokemon have been fully healed.  We hope to see you again.”

Dustin took his Pokeballs back, and moved into one of the Pokemon Center’s trainer lodgings, where he released his Whimsicott, Boldore, and Hypno from their Pokeballs.  Opening his pack, he got out some bowls and cans of Pokemon food, giving each of them their meals, before walking over to the bed in the corner and sulking in it.

“You know, guys, I’m getting a bit worried about our trainer.”  Whimsicott said in the Pokemon language.  “I mean, sure, he’d always been a bit of a sore loser, but lately he’s just been blowing his stack every time the smallest thing goes wrong.”

“Yeah.”  Boldore said between bites.  “It’s been getting out of hand.  One of these days, he might lash out and try hitting something that’ll hit back.”

“Heh, I hope I’ll be there to see it when that happens.”  Hypno said through his telepathy.  “Maybe that something’ll beat some battle knowledge into him.”

“Hypno!”  The other two said.

“What?  What?”  Hypno raised his arms defensively.  “It’s a joke!   Lighten up a bit.”

“Anyway,” Whimsicott said, “I think we need to figure out how to help him calm down.”

“And what on Earth are we gonna do about that, huh?”  Hypno said.  “He’s the one in charge here.”

“Well, can use your telepathy to talk to him.”  Whimsicott said.  “Maybe he’d be willing to hear us out.”

“Okay.”  Hypno said.  “But what are you actually planning to help him calm down?”

The two other Pokemon went quiet for a moment as they thought about their answers.  Boldore spoke first.  “When I was in the wild, and things got me angry, it was usually because I was thinking about what I was doing in an all-or-nothing way.  When Dustin started training me, though, I realized that the world wasn’t going to end just because I lost a battle.  I’d still get fed at the end of the day, and as long as I put in all the work I could, I felt good about it.”

“So basically,” Hypno said.  “you want me to help him keep some perspective, eh?  I think I’ll be able to do that.”


Dustin grit his teeth as he handed over the prize money to his opponent, before trudging off to heal his injured Pokemon again.  Hypno walked by Dustin’s side, having been excluded from the 2v2 battle Dustin had lost.  “You know Dustin, I bet you’re frustrated right now.  But you gotta keep a little perspective.”

“I’ve got plenty of perspective.”  Dustin growled.  “I lost, and that means I’m not doing good as I should be.”

“No, you see, you’ve gotta look at the bigger picture, here.  Sure, you may have lost one battle, here, today.  And sure, it may have been just the latest in a string of seven consecutive losses.  But your Pokemon are still your friends.  You’re still able to feed yourself.  Granted, with all the money you’ve been losing to give the other guy as a prize, you’ll only be able to keep feeding us for another week at this rate, if you don’t get another win.  But hey, most people can easily go two weeks without food before they die of starvation.”

“Hypno, please…”

“And really, the universe is trillions of years old already.  In the grand scheme of things, does it really matter if you die at thirteen or three hundred?  It’s not like your winning or losing will stop our sun from going supernova in another million years or so.  And don’t get me started on how insignificant these wins and losses are in light of the inevitable heat death of the universe as a whole…”

There was a loud scream, followed by one thud after another, as Dustin started slamming his head against the nearest tree.


“Hypno!”  Whimsicott shouted.  “What in the nine circles of the Distortion World were you thinking?  You were supposed to be helping him deal with his anger, not making it worse by giving him existential crises too!”

Hypno sighed.  The three Pokemon were back in the Pokemon Center Trainer lodgings, eating their bowls of Pokemon chow again.  “Look, I did my best, okay.  I can’t help it if Boldore has terrible ideas.”  

Boldore glared at him, opening his mouth to say something, but stopped himself, realizing his words would be wasted.  “Well, you could try it again, and keep the perspective a little more restrained, and upbeat…”

“Nope.”  Hypno shook his head.  “The definition of insanity is trying the same thing again and again and expecting different results.”

Boldore rolled his eyes.  “It’s not the same thing if you actually do it right this time.”

“Enough of your terrible ideas!”  Hypno snorted.  “Whimsicott, what do you think we should do?”

Whimsicott put his hoof to his chin for a few moments.  “Well, when I’m feeling angry, I try to find some humor in things.  Like, when I get angry and internally call a certain psychic a piece of garbage, I imagine how silly that would look literally, and it helps take my mind off things.”

“So, basically, I try to make him realize how silly it sounds when he’s angry?”  Hypno smiled, while the other two Pokemon exchanged nervous glances.  “That shouldn’t be a problem at all.”


Dustin found himself storming back to the Pokemon center yet again, after yet another loss.  “Ugh, using Talonflame and a Garchomp!  I can’t believe what a scrub she was.”

“A ‘scrub?’  Really now?”  Hypno asked.  “Would you take a second to imagine what that’d look like.”

Dustin’s frown started to rise.  “Heh, yeah, that is kinda funny when you think about it.  I mean, an actual scrub brush, wearing trainer’s clothes?”

“Awkwardly hopping around on its handle…”

“Barking orders muffled under soap suds…”  Dustin couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought.

“Yeah!  It’s pretty funny.  Imagine how stupid someone would have to be to lose to a scrub brush!”  

Dustin’s frown began to work its way back onto his face as Hypno chuckled.  

“I mean, how bad would a person need to be at properly ordering their Pokemon around to get beaten by something that doesn’t even have a mouth?  Hah!  They’d have to make some pretty braindead calls to get their behinds handed to them by something that didn’t even have a brain!”

Dustin clenched his fists.

“Man, even using ‘Scrub’ as an insult when you lose, is pretty silly now that I think about it, I mean, do you know where the term originated?  It’s a pretty funny story-”  Hypno suddenly found his words cut off as Dustin lobbed his pokeball at him, hitting him right between the eyes before pulling him back in, in a flash of red light.


“Words fail me completely.”  Boldore groaned as the three talked over Pokemon Chow again.

“What?  Whimsicott said I needed to point out how sill he was being.”

“No.  I was trying to say you needed to point out how silly he might act when he’s angry.  You decided to start piling on insults instead of trying to get him to laugh.”

“Oh come on!  I found them funny.  I can’t help it if he doesn’t share my genius sense of humor.”  The other two Pokemon took several deep breaths, holding their heads in their forelegs.  “Look, obviously, the problem is that both of you have terrible ideas.  Next time, I’ll just do what we should have done from the start.”

Boldore sighed.  “Well, that certainly sounds ominous.  What are you planning?”

“Oh, that would be telling, wouldn’t it?  And I don’t want you two messing it up when it happens, so I’m NOT telling.”

“Arceus, take our souls now, and spare us this torment.”  Whimsicott muttered.


Dustin walked through the back routes of the forest, trying to avoid any other trainers for the time being.  He had heard that the legendary Mew had been sighted out here recently, and was eagerly searching for any possible clue as to where it might be hiding.  Unfortunately, he was having very little luck.  He looked down at his Pokeballs with a sigh, knowing the only one on his team that could have a chance of tracing Mew, was the one he hoped would stay in its Pokeball forever, after yesterday’s events.

“Alright Hypno.  Come out and use your psychic abilities to trace Mew’s.”  There was a red flash of light as Hypno was released.  “And no commentary from the peanut gallery this time, please…”

“Don’t worry Dustin.  You won’t have to worry about any more commentary from me!”  Hypno grinned, and Dustin felt something slipping out of his backpack.  Looking back, he saw the Escape Rope he was carrying snake its way out of his pack and around him, Hypno guiding it with his psychic powers to tie Dustin to one of the closer trees.  

“Now don’t panic!  The other pokemon were concerned about your outburst of anger, and I have taken it upon myself to help calm you down from here on!”  He released the pendulum in his hand, letting it swing back and forth in front of Dustin’s face.  “Now then, let’s just relax a bit, shall we?”

Dustin groaned, his body feeling heavy as his eyes involuntarily tracked the pendulum.  

“Now then, Dustin, just take a minute to appreciate just how relaxed you are.  So relaxed that you simply don’t want to move at all.”

Dustin nodded weakly.

“Hey!  I said don’t move at all!”  Dustin shook himself awake at the sudden change in tone.  Hypno facepalmed as he realized his mistake.  “J-just keep watching the pendulum, as it just goes back and forth, slowly and calmly.”

Dustin nodded, starting to doze off again.

“Right then…  I want you to think back to a time where you were calm, and at peace, a time where you felt like absolutely nothing could go wrong.  And when you remember that time, tell me about it.”

Dustin was quiet for a moment, before giving the answer in a droning voice.  “When I was five, a trainer with a Meganium visited your house and let me ride it around.  He was real cool, and friendly, and easygoing, and being around him made me feel calmer.”

“There we go.  Now, I want you to remember all the little emotions you felt at the time.  Got them in mind?”  Dustin nodded.  “Now, whenever I say the phrase ‘Meganium’s rest,’ you’re going to become just like that Meganium; calm, easygoing, and so hard to make flustered or frustrated in any way.”

“Just like Meganium…”  Dustin nodded quietly.

“That’s right.  Now then, I’m going to untie you, and wake you up, on the count of 3, and when you wake up, you will have no conscious memory of me hypnotizing you.  1… 2… 3.”

As Dustin came to, completely oblivious as to what had transpired in the last few minutes, a tiny Pokemon watched the scene unfold, with mischief in its eyes.  It giggled as plans for a prank of legendary proportions formed under its feline skull.


Several hours later, Dustin’s hunt for Mew was looking no closer to completion than when it had started.  Hypno’s attempts to find the telepathic signals of other Pokemon had been leading to mundane Abra, Exeggcute, and Musharna, and in his desperation, Dustin was trying everything, even letting out his Whimsicott and Boldore to help in the search.  Unfortunately, being a cotton plant/sheep hybrid, and a living rock, neither was especially well equipped to aid in tracking down a Pokemon known to fly, shapeshift, or turn invisible at will.  All they could really do, at this point, was listen to Hypno ramble about his plan.

“It’s flawless, utterly flawless!”  Hypno thought, extending his telepathy only to the other Pokemon.  “It’s what we should have done from the start, really.”

“Mind control, though?”  Boldore asked.  “That seems very… Unethical, to put it mildly.”

“You’re just jealous you couldn’t think up something so brilliant.”

“This is serious, Hypno!”  Whimsicott said.  “Even putting aside robbing someone…  No not just someone, our trainer, of all people, of their free will, and the ethics of that, you don’t even know if it’s going to work properly.  What if it goes like your attempt to give him some perspective?”

“Oh, come on, it’s only to help him calm down.  It’s not like he’ll never be able to become angry again, or anything.”

Dustin’s groaning interrupted their conversation.  The three Pokemon turned to see their trainer struggling to extract himself from a thorn-riddled bush he had tripped into.  He growled as he pulled himself out, covered in scratches.  “That is it!  I’ve been out here for hours, chasing nothing and now this happens!  Why’s it always me?”

“Now then,”  Hypno grinned, “Time to show all of you my genius!”

Out of sight of the trainer and his Pokemon, a little Pokemon giggled in anticipation, watching with baited breath as Hypno approached his trainer.

“Say Dustin, to your remember Meganium’s rest?”  As Hypno said this, the little Pokemon’s eyes glowed blue, focusing its energy on Dustin.

“Yeah, I do.”  Dustin said, the tension in his face fading, and the growl that had permeated his speech just moments before nowhere to be found.  “I gotta be like that Meganuim…”

As he said this, his body started to swell, his torso growing larger and wider, his clothes getting tight.  He then felt an itchy sensation crawl over him, as hundreds of little, pale green scales, slipped through his skin, starting in his chest.  Dustin knew there was something off about this, but the effect of the hypnosis kept him to calm to question it.

“Something doesn’t seem right, Hypno…” Boldore said.
“What are you talking about?  Clearly, he just looks fatter because he’s relaxing.”  

“Then what’s with his skin turning green?” Whimsicott shouted, as the spread of the green scales stretched out onto the exposed skin of Dustin’s neck and arms.

“M-maybe his stomach is just t-telling him that it didn’t like what he had for lunch?”

The pokemon watched in confusion as the green scales spread up Dustin’s neck, which, itself, was becoming thicker, and much longer, as well.  Dustin tugged on his collar.  Even in his unnaturally calmed state, Dustin couldn’t help but tug at his collar, his clothes feeling unbearably tight.

“This has to be our fault!”  Boldore cried.  “What in the Distortion World did you do to Dustin?”

“I…  I didn’t do any of this…”  Hypno backed away from the other two Pokemon.  “I just told him to be like that peaceful Meganium he remembered…  from his childhood…”  Hypno gulped as he remembered his poor choice of words.  “But that’s still nonsense to suggest I’m somehow responsible for this!  Everyone knows all that hippy stuff about your mind influencing the world you is garbage!”

“Said the psychic Pokemon…”  Whimsicott glared.

“That’s completely different!”

Their conversation was interrupted by a tearing sound.  Turning around, they saw Dustin down on all fours, no longer able to hold the weight of his increasingly large body on two legs alone.  His clothes were gradually tearing, revealing the green scales underneath.  Luckily, before his arms could give way, he felt a new strength filling them.  They started to grow thicker, and rounder, his fingers shrinking back into stubby, immobile claws, while his hands stretched and swelled, becoming near indistinguishable from the rest of what were now his forelegs.  He felt his bones shift under his skin and muscles, the range of movement in what were once his arms becoming significantly reduced.  Dustin groaned as he felt his hips shifting, having already grown larger with the rest of his body, they now bent into a new angle, one that made him feel much more comfortable on all fours.  As his legs began to change the same way his arms and hands had, he also felt his spine stretching, and growing longer, pushing past his hips, new muscle and skin growing alongside it to form a short tail.

“Change him back!”  Whimsicott grabbed Hypno’s white mane and shook it.  “And you better be prepared to replace his clothes too!”

Hypno tried to stop the shaking, but as his knees were starting to rattle on their own, it wasn’t going to make much of a different.  “Guys, I really don’t know what’s going on!  I didn’t mean to do any of this!”

“Liar!  You’re just blaming your problems on everyone but yourself again!”  Boldore shouted.

As his Pokemon continued to argue, Dustin felt his skull swelling and becoming rounder.  His jaws stretched forward, becoming a sauropod snout.  He felt his hair recede as the scales took over, his eyes turning a bright yellow.  He felt his nose pulling back, becoming a little less sensitive as it shrink down to a pair of slits above his mouth.  He felt a strong tingling sensation from his forehead, as a pair of long, sensitive, yellow antennae sprouted out.  Finally, he felt comforting warmth around his neck, feeling something foreign, but so relaxing, stretching out around its base.  Looking down, he saw six pink flower petals unfurl around his neck.  He could feel them taking in the sunlight, and he sighed in delight.  He finally felt genuinely calm again.  He almost didn’t want to go back to being human.

The little Mew laughed to itself as it watched the Pokemon arguing, while their former trainer sat there peacefully.  It wondered how long it would be before Meganium’s calming scent would quiet their bickering.  It shrugged, and decided to enjoy the show while there was still a chance that the jerk of a Hypno would get what was coming to him.
Anger Management (Contest Entry)
This is my entry for another one of deathbustereudial103's contests.  And hoo boy, it took me a while to get this one down.  Unlike the Arceus contest entry, where I pretty much knew from the second I read the prompt what I wanted to do, I went through a number of plots with this, writing one for a while, then scrapping it midway through and trying a different plot.  I'm very thankful that DB103 decided to extend the contest deadline so significantly, or I would have never gotten this done on time.

While this is the version I feel the best about, I am somewhat disappointed that, for the sake of pacing and keeping Hypno's tone and attitude consistent, I ended up having to treat hypnosis as magical mind control, rather than depicting it realistically.  In the real world, people that have recently been forcefully tied to trees would probably be the least receptive to hypnosis, but eh, sometimes the plot's gotta keep rolling.  I'd just handwave it as psychic type Pokemon messing with a foe's mind directly to help enhance hypnosis.
Warning:  Contains descriptions of temporary transformation into an inanimate object, as well as temporary mental changes.  If such things make you uncomfortable, do not read this story.

Cam closed the door to his room.  It had been a long day at work, and he was feeling pretty exhausted.  He was about to just flop down on his bed and go straight to sleep, when he saw a small envelope on his pillow, with his name on it.  Curious, he opened it up to take a look.  Inside was a letter.

“Happy Birthday, Cam!  Hope you’re ready for a big surprise for you and your guests.”

It was a pretty odd message.  One of his family could have left it for him, but why wouldn’t they just tell him themselves.  He tossed it in the trash before turning off the light.  He sighed as he went to bed.  Tomorrow WAS his birthday, but he had been so busy, he hadn’t had time to prepare much for the guests.  He would probably need to pop by the grocery before the party to pick up a cake.  Shrugging, he closed his eyes and went to sleep.

He woke up to a hand shaking his shoulder, and a woman’s voice.  “Come on, birthday boy, get up!”  Shaking his head, Cam blinked.  The room was still dark, and for a good fifteen seconds, he couldn’t see anything but his digital clock, reading 12:01.  “Happy birthday!”  The voice said again.  Suddenly, a light came on, and after taking a moment for his eyes to adjust, Cam realized he wasn’t in his room anymore, but in what looked like the inside of a large, hollowed-out tree.  Judging from the presence of a stove, various cooking utensils, and the smell of sweets, it was apparently a kitchen.  As he looked up, he saw what he assumed was the source of the voice, a one-foot tall, pale-skinned woman, flying just above him on four thin, clear, dragonfly wings.

“Am I dreaming?”  Cam said groggily.

“Maybe.”  The little lady said.  “Then again, you could simply be a butterfly dreaming of being human.  Everything we know might be a dream.  But that’s neither here nor there.”  She flicked her wrist.  “I just wanted to introduce myself.  My name’s Nia, and I’m here to help fulfil your desire for change.”

“You are?”  Cam asked, getting up.  “You don’t mean-”

“Oh, yes, I can assure you I DO mean it the way you think I do.  I can sense a human’s desire for a physical transformation, and like to occasionally grant them that, on special occasions.  Like say, a birthday.”  Cam couldn’t help but grin.  Dream or not, this was gonna be awesome!  

“That said…” Nia added.  “I can’t tell specifically what kind of changes they want without er…  Getting a feel for it, so, excuse me for a second…”  Nia suddenly reached her hand out to Cam…  And put it straight through his forehead.  Cam twitched a bit, feeling for a moment as if there was another presence inside his mind.  “That’s a fun one…  This one’s a bit of an oldie, but it could work…  Oh, what’s this?  Oooh, I rarely get to work with that!”  She withdrew her hand, and Cam shuddered.  “Sorry about that.  But, now I know just the gift to give you!  Hold my hand for a second?”

Feeling a little more hesitant after having his mind probed, but still wanting to see what transformation Nia had in store, Cam reached out and held Nia’s small hand.  He suddenly felt her tugging on it, with surprising force for her diminutive size.  She gave a second tug, triggering an odd stretching in Cam’s back, the back of his head, and just about everything else behind him.  With a third tug, Cam stumbled forward, feeling as if his whole body was being stretched out, then feeling as if something had dropped off of his back.  He let go of Nia’s hand as he turned around to have a look.  

“Woah!”  Cam gasped as he came face to face with…  Himself?  Before him stood something that looked completely identical to him, save for the fact that it was completely asleep.  “Wh-what on Earth is that?”

“That’s you!”  Nia said.  “Or, well, your old body, without your soul.  You’re in a copy body I made for your transformation.  So, when it’s all done, your soul comes back here, no fuss, no muss.”  She tapped on Cam’s original head.  

“It’s still kinda creepy to see myself like this.”  Cam looked over his original body.  

“Yeah, I know it’s not something most humans are used to.”  Nia nodded.  “But with this set-up, it’s kinda like that old human phrase ‘you can have your…’ actually, never mind.  Don’t want to give too much away.”  She giggled.  “Let’s just say I’ve got a little time-travel magic that’ll let you be, and enjoy, your gift.”

“Sounds pretty fun.”  Cam said.  “I guess I’m ready when you are.”

“Let’s get going then.”  Nia grinned.  With a snap of her fingers the lights dimmed.  “Now then, Cam, let’s get you nice and relaxed.”  Cam suddenly felt a little sleepy, as a large bowl magically materialized underneath him.  He found himself laying back into it, his feet at one end of the bowl, his head at the other.  “Yep, you just get comfortable and calm, not a single worry running through that sleepy head of yours.

“Now, I want you to imagine, a gentle wave of relaxation, slowly moving up your body.  It starts in your feet, and they just start to feel so limp and heavy, it’s almost as if they are just dissolving into pure relaxation.”  Cam nodded at the suggestion, his feet feeling so relaxed, he barely even notice as his toes started to turn white, becoming harder and harder to move as they solidified into a mix of sugar and flour, before gradually crumbling and gently sliding to the center of the bowl.

“This relaxing feeling spreads upwards now, without you needing to do anything.  Your calves start to loosen up and let go of all that stress.  Feels so sweet, doesn’t it?”  Cam nodded again, feeling all the stress in his calves fading, as they slowly turned to cocoa powder from the inside out, slowly sliding apart and drifting to the bottom of the bowl.  “Feel the wave pass up through your thighs, all tension released as they drift down deeper…”  Cam felt his thighs ease up, as they slowly shifted into baking soda and powder, joining the rest of his legs as the bottom of the bowl.  His legs felt so relaxed, he couldn’t move them, even if he had wanted to.  The sensation in his legs felt so natural and easy, even if it was a little unfamiliar to the occasional peeps of his conscious mind.  

Cam’s body started to slip under the powdery mix at the bottom of the bowl.  “Next, feel the relaxation enter your arms, starting with your fingertips, and spreading up to your shoulders, making them feel so very, very loose and limp, to the point you couldn’t even call them solid anymore.”  Cam felt the relaxation dripping from the end of his fingertips, and up his arms, each part feeling so loose and distant as his arms slowly dripped down into a little puddle of milk, mixing in with the dry powders below.

“Very good…  You’re so very good at relaxing.  I bet you could even slow your heartbeat and breathing to a crawl now…  Just imagine how restful you’d feel then…”  Cam would’ve nodded in blissful agreement, but he was to comfortable to try.  His breathing slowed down, as did his pulse, his body’s movement coming to a slow stop as his torso melted into a smooth cooking oil.  

“Lastly, let all the little muscles in your face relax, and your thoughts be at ease.  No worries, no stress, no cares, just enjoying a unique and restful experience.”  Cam’s mind drifted, feeling his hair grow over his head completely, turning white, and hardening into an eggshell.  Meanwhile, his face smoothed over, any wrinkles smoothing over, his senses, save for touch, fading as his features flattened and become simple egg white.  His brain, meanwhile, rounded out, and turned yellow, becoming a yolk.

“Very good, my soon-to-be sweet former-human.”  Despite his lack of hearing, Nia’s voice echoed in Cam’s mind.  Nia smiled, cracking the eggshell perfectly, and letting Cam’s “egghead” fall to the bottom of the bowl.  “You’re going to make a lovely chocolate cake, dear.  It’s rather exciting, isn’t it?”  Nia said, as Cam felt his relaxed, indistinct body start to spin around and mix together.  Cam, sleepy though he was, still agreed…  The thought of being changed like that still intrigued him, even as he remained blissfully unaware of the implications of his body’s light, wet, and powdery feeling.  He then felt as if his body was being turned in place, again and again.  The sensation left him slightly dizzy, but more than that, where his body once felt light and loose, it now seemed grow heavy and tired.  His thoughts began to slow down even further, becoming jumbled as the yolk split apart.  Memories seemed more distant and dreamlike, knowledge faded from grasp, and any emotion beyond the simple enjoyment of the comfortable, calming feels felt so much harder to muster.

“No need to worry.  No need to think, Sweet little Cake.”  Nia’s voice echoed.  “Humans think, and worry, but you're not human anymore.”

“Not…  Human… Anymore…”  Cam’s slow, laborious thoughts were drowned out by Nia’s soothing voice as he felt his body spiral deeper.  They took such a powerful hold in Cak’s mind, he couldn’t even tell her voice and his thoughts apart.

“That’s right, dear Cake.  You are a Cake.  You are sweet, moist, and share the delight others feel in eating you.”

“I… Am… A… Sweet… Cake.”  Cak thought.  “I… Make… People… Happy…”

“And it feels good to make people happy, doesn’t it?”

“Feels… Good… To… Make… People… Happy…”  Cake Agreed.

“Very good!”  Nia smiled as she finished stirring the giant bowl and poured the batter into a pan.  “Now, you’re going to feel warm and fuzzy for a while, Cake.  Just relax, and let nature take its course.”  Cake felt an incredible warmth all around his body, like a calming sauna.  The intense heat reached all through his body, causing it to slowly rise and swell, making Cake feel larger, and lighter. Cake felt a tinge of excitement, knowing his body would be so fluffy and soft, like a good cake should be.

The heat eventually came to an end, and Cake found his body being blanketed in a thick, cool, sweet substance, causing Cake to feel even sleepier, his mind going utterly blank.  Nia smiled as she finished icing the massive Cake, sticking four candles in the center of it.  Using her magic, Nia opened a portal through time and space, leading to the dining room table at Cam’s house, thirty minutes before the party would start.  She carefully levitated the former human up to the portal.  “Happy Brithday ‘Cake!’”  She giggled.  “Here’s to one wish coming true, and hoping for more to be granted.”

“One last thing:” Nia said, putting Cake through the portal, “Don’t think too hard about the giant chocolate cake appearing out of nowhere once you’re human again.  Have fun.”
A Birthday Treat
A birthday gift for my friend, CalvinAndHobbesPwns, given to him yesterday, uploaded here today.  I actually cut a fairly significant part from the original version, which contained another transformation, as I felt the second half of the original wasn't quite as well-paced as the first, and that it ended a bit more naturally just before the party started, from the transformed's perspective.  If you're interested in seeing the original, it's over in my scraps.…

Ever since I got a chance to be hypnotized in real life, I've grown fond of the idea of hypnosis as a trigger for transformation, and I feel like I used it here to decent effect.  But I'll save my thoughts on hypnosis for the description of another story, if I get around to writing it. 

For now, I'll just give some thoughts on mental changes and inanimate transformations, two types of changes which are understandably controversial among TF fans.  Permanent inanimate changes are often disliked because it can effectively be seen as either killing a character, or putting them into an "I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream" scenario, and it's up for debate which situation would be worse.  Mental changes are usually disliked for similar reasons, as the personality and memories they once had are effectively "killed off" by the new personality/animal instincts/robot programming/complete lack of capacity of their new body for thought of any kind/etc..  That mental changes are often used as an excuse to get characters to become more sexualized/submissive/etc. doubtlessly doesn't do the concept any favors either.

A lot of TF fans are into transformation for the escapism of it, whether they simply curious about what it might be like to walk in another creature's shoes for a while, or feel dissatisfied with their life, and wish they could genuinely and permanently trade their human life for another, and as such, stories focusing solely on a character effectively dying are likely even less popular among such readers than they would be among non-TF fans.  After all, unless you are feeling suicidal yourself, why would you want to fantasize about someone basically killing you and either using your body as a dishwasher, or as the host for a highly sexualized French maid's soul?  Or about being trapped and helpless forever inside a statue?

I can definitely see where people who dislike this stuff are coming from.  As someone who enjoys some escapism, I often like to make TF stories or RPs where the "victim" of the change either changes willingly, or finds themselves in an involuntary situation that happens to grant them a form they either secretly wished for already, or one that ultimately proves beneficial or enjoyable, even if they wouldn't have chosen it themselves.  I  usually like the transformation happen for a positive reason, too.

When I make triggers for TFs in RPs, I usually try to think of some reason for why a change would occur there, even if the characters will never find that reason for themselves.  This has made TF RPs for friends who like inanimate TFs a lot more challenging for me to write than TFs into animals, mythical creatures, gender swaps, etc..  You see, if the change is caused by malicious intent (for example, a witch's revenge, a mad scientist kidnapping people for experiments, a curse on an object or location, or, for a much milder definition of "malicious" a prank), or by some freak accident (Misread spells, lab accidents, or changes with no apparent trigger at all), it's just as easy to justify an inanimate TF, or a complete mental change, as it is to justify an animal TF.  After all, cruel twists of fate, and people out to find joy in others' suffering probably don't care whether you've "merely" changed to a form you're unfamiliar with, or are rendered effectively dead by a mental/inanimate change.  This ease of use makes malicious intent and freak accidents popular choices for triggers for TFs of any stripe, but I'm not too fond of using them, because, as mentioned before, I enjoy it when the TF happens for a positive reason.

Which made me wonder, what are positive reasons to turn somebody into an inanimate object, or change their mind completely?  The first, and most obvious, is that the "victim" may actually like inanimate TF, or the idea of becoming inanimate object, or becoming a creature or character in mind as well as body, as a form of escapism, just like a TF to a living thing, and thus, would end up volunteering for it in some way.  I mean hey, it may be a niche within a niche, but some people are interested enough to consistently draw/write and/or commission art and stories with these themes, I wouldn't be surprised if at least some have wondered what it would feel like to change like that in real life.  So voluntary changes can make as much sense for mental and inanimate changes as they can for others.  And this story falls into that category, in a fashion.

But, then again, that reason could be used to justify any change.  What other reasons might there be to justify these kinds of changes?  I mean, there are several practical reasons one might want to say, temporarily  be turned into an animal (for example, if a device that could temporarily turn a person into a bird existed, it would probably sell like hotcakes even if there were no escapist TF fans, simply because of how practical it could be to be able to fly), but it's harder to think of why someone who wasn't enthusiastic about the idea of, say, turning into a car, would volunteer to be one.  People generally prefer to use tools rather than be treated like tools, after all. 

There are, a couple of practical reasons I could imagine that would lead to someone volunteering for an inanimate change, however, all centered around the idea of longer life.  The first, would be preventing a disease from spreading, preventing death by starvation, or similar situations.  In this case, an inanimate TF could be considered a form of magical cryo-sleep, temporarily putting the victim into a situation where they cannot truly die until a dangerous situation has passed or had a solution to it found.  The second, would basically be to achieve the kind of pseudo-immortality often mentioned in philosophy, to create (or in this case, BE) something that will outlive you and be remembered for generations to come.  The third, would be a desperate grab at actual immortality, even if it means being in a "I have no mouth and I must scream" situation.  Basically the transformee in such a situation, identifies with the words of Patrick Bovin during the Super Best Friend's playthrough of Soma: "I'd rather be a toilet than not exist!"

Okay...  I'm just starting to realize that if I don't stop soon, these "couple of thoughts" are going to be longer than the story itself.  I don't really have any particular points I was shooting for overall with this, so much as just letting out some junk I've been thinking about longer than any reasonable person aught to.  I guess I'll just finish by saying, that even though I may not have liked inanimate TFs and complete mental overwrites before, RPing with friends who did has provided me with interesting challenges in writing scenarios, and has helped me understand the interest a little more, and even made me a little interested in them... even if when I do use such changes, the unpleasant implications are still prominent enough in my mind that I will go FAR, FAR out of my way to imply or outright state that they are temporary.


Zachariah [REDACTED]
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Current Residence: USA
Favourite genre of music: Pretty much anything without lyrics.
Operating System: Windows
MP3 player of choice: Sanza
Shell of choice: Koopa
Skin of choice: Scales
Favourite cartoon character: Yoshi
Personal Quote: If you aren't willing to dig through a lot of dirt, you'll never find a gem.


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DinoDoggo Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2017  Student Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch and favs!
gunzgal0r3 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the favorite
SentireAeris Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for faving my comic! I appreciate it :) (Smile)
You might like my latest pic:
Would you like the next dance? by SentireAeris  
I hope you like it, have a great day :) (Smile)
Maurili Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Frozen-Doopliss Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Hi there.  What can I do for you?
Maurili Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
are you open for stuff? 
Frozen-Doopliss Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
I might be open for something.  What did you have in mind?
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TenmaRKO Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
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Frozen-Doopliss Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Aw, thanks!  Hope you're having a nice day too.
TenmaRKO Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well thanks, pal! :iconponyhugplz:
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