The Statues Of Haruhi Suzumiya

(Contains Statue Transformation, Reality Alteration, and Heavy Mental Changes/identity death)

Haruhi came fashionably late as always, and shouted dramatically, "SOS brigade! I have a new project for us!"

Kyon sighed, while Itsuki smiled as usual.  "What's our mission for today?"

Huruhi grinned, "I got bored last night."

‘NEVER a good thing.’  Kyon thought.

"And I was flipping through some art magazines, and I came across this thing called 'live sculptures!'"

Students could almost hear Mikuru gulping several rooms over, at the thought of whatever new poses and costumes she end up in this time.  

"What's the matter? Scared to show off your body?"  Haruhi said.

“Uh, n-no, Haruhi..."  She sputtered.

"You mean that thing where a bunch of people stand around for hours and pretend to be statues?"  Kyon asked.  "Sounds like a waste of time to me."

"Are you saying that Yuki and Mikuru's bodies are something to be ashamed of?"

Itsuki asked, "Why did I get left out?"

Kyon shook his head.  "No, no, Mikuru definitely doesn't have anything to be ashamed of.  I'm just saying I can think of better ways to spend a weekend than standing stock-still."

"But just imagine! People seeing someone as a work of art! Immortalized. In their memory, and it's certainly cheaper than paying a sculptor. We might even inspire artists TO make sculptures. Besides, I checked the law books, it'll count as 'performance art' so there's nothing to worry about."

Realizing yet again the futility of trying to stop Haruhi once her mind was settled on something, Kyon shrugged.  "So, what exactly do you have in mind for us?  Are we all just going to walk into the art club and pose for a few hours?"

"You'd like that wouldn't you," Haruhi said, "But no, we're going to be doing this outside, where people can see! Don't worry, this is my project, no one is going to be touching anyone. I do have standards after all."

Kyon found that hard to believe.

"We're also setting up fliers, anyone who wants to be a statue will be free to sign up! I just can't decide whether to go with body makeup or skin tight bodysuits and makeup... "

Kyon pondered which of those Mikuru might look more attractive in, while Itsuki smiled.  "That sounds like a lot of fun.  I'd recommend the bodysuits myself.  I speak from experience that it's far easier to clean up."

Now there was a mental image Kyon could have done without.

"I'll begin work on the fliers,"  Yuki stated, putting down her book, and moving over to the computer.

Kyon asked, "But aren't you the least bit worried, even if it's 'legal' doesn't mean there aren't going to be a lot of angry parents."

That somewhat made Haruhi slightly think things over. "What would you suggest?"

"Drop it."

"Not good enough... Well, if we were using the body suits, no one will be technically naked, maybe if we used body makeup combined with some cups to hide the naughty bits, but would that make everyone look like dolls instead of statues? Oh! And we'll use white contacts for the eyes!  Do you think we should use wigs or maybe hair dye, or just use clay so it has the consistency of stone? I want the illusion to be perfect!"

"Yes, cups are good..."  Mikuru nodded.  "Better than nothing, at least..."  One could almost hear Mikuru gulping several rooms over, again.

"I suppose dye would be the more comfortable option, though the clay would help add to the illusion by not blowing in the breeze,"  Itsuki said.

"Why are you encouraging her?" Kyon asked.

"Don't you have any appreciation for the arts, Kyon?  A little display like this could really help spark our school's creativity."  Kyon was tempted to reiterate the other things it could spark, but it probably wouldn't get through anyone's head this time either.  Mikuru shivered, hugging herself, not liking the idea of being Haruhi's dress up doll again. But at least she wouldn't be alone for once.

"So WHEN are we doing this?" Kyon asked. "And where?"

"It's gonna be the Saturday after next!  I wanna give people some time to see the fliers, but I don't wanna wait too long to get it started.  As for location, I'm thinking either the park down the road, or right in front of the school itself."

Mikuru tried to think of which was likely to be less embarrassing, in front of so many students, or in front of many more strangers.

Yuki asked, "If this project is intended to be an inspiration to the student body, or an inspiration to the public in general? They carry different methods after all."

"I am going to be sending a message! For too long the human body has been treated as a thing of shame, rather than thing of beauty! As far too long as the nude been ripped away from its origin as a symbol of purity and innocence, and into a symbol of sexuality!"

"You're one to talk,"  Kyon muttered.

"Such a noble endeavor, Haruhi!"  Itsuki clapped.  "In that case, the park is the place to go.  We can let the whole community see the beautiful true nature of the human body, as it was meant to be."

Mikuru shuddered once more at the thought.  "Could we do it off the beaten path, just a little?"  She asked, already knowing the answer.

"What?! But that would defeat the whole point!" Haruhi exclaimed. "This isn't Jewish art being crammed into a corner by Nazi Germany!"

Kyon thought, ‘Yes, we are so not under the sway of an over emotional dictator with delusional ideals.’

"Exactly!"  Itsuki said.  "Art needs to stand out to truly be effective.  We can't just go around censoring everything!"

"As such, all ages, genders, and creeds are permitted!" Haruhi declared dramatically.

Now this made even Yuki and Itsuki pause.

‘Well, at least Haruhi supports equal opportunity embarrassment,’  Kyon thought.

"Is it truly advisable to permit minors to be exposed to both observers, and any potential weather conditions, for the purpose of your art?  Parents will be far more likely to complain if even younger demographics are permitted,"  Yuki said.

Haruhi gave Yuki a look that could twist steel.  Yuki keep her face completely calm.  "This about art! Have ANY OF YOU heathens even LOOKED at the Sistine Chapel?! Today Michelangelo Would have been arrested for no fault of his own! Agh!"  Haruhi crossed her arms in a rather childish pout herself. "We'll accept them if there is a trusted legal guardian nearby during their performance, will that make you happy?"

Getting anything from Haruhi was like pulling teeth, and Kyon KNEW that Itsuki would be slaying a lot of Celestials this evening.  

"That should be an acceptable compromise,"  Itsuki nodded.

"A leader should be willing to do what she commands of her subordinates," Kyon said.

"Statues need an artist!" Haruhi said proudly and standing tall. "Unless you're volunteering for that Kyon."

"You mean you're making all the body suits?"  Kyon raised an eyebrow.  "I'm surprised you'd think about taking that much responsibility. But if it means not having to stand near-naked in the sun all day, I'll consider it."

"I could make the suits if you want..."  Mikuru whispered, hoping for an out.

"What? Are you worried about your body not being about to stand against mine? I'd never accept such a cowardly concession!"

"Didn't you say this was for the art, not who had the bigger bust?" Kyon sighed.

Itsuki smirked. "What's the matter Kyon? Can't decide if you want to be a duet with Haruhi, or want to see Mikuru and Haruhi side by side?"

"Oh knock it off!"  Kyon groaned, hoping nobody else would realize how close to the truth he was.  "I'll take care of it for the members of the SOS Brigade."

"Are you SURE you can actually do DO THAT Kyon? Are you really any good at it?" Mikuru asked.

"If it means getting to avoid making a fool out of myself for just one weekend, I'll be willing to learn.  That said, I can get materials and measurements for the SOS brigade but I don't know how you, or anyone else will be able to make suits for every potential volunteer."

‘Not that I expect many people to be submitting themselves to this willingly,’ Kyon thought to himself.

"And don't forget about stone pillars and plaques!" Haruhi added, her brain still going. "And make sure there are pictures taken! I am not trusting flawed human brains to remember this glory! Oh! And should the plaque have the personal names of whoever is the statue, or should we be more creative with the titles?"

"Good thinking, Haruhi,"  Itsuki nodded.  "And I say that a creative title will help the work stand out more in the eyes of the audience."

"And I say that I'm not coming up with a pretentious name for every idiot that shows up."  Kyon said.

Mikuru internally debated if having a "creative" name on the plaque would be enough to help preserve her reputation.

"Humph, isn't the artist supposed to come up with the names?  What a poor artist you'll be Kyon." Haruhi said. "If I'm going to be your work of art, you'd better be good."

"Shouldn't the art speak for itself?" Kyon did his best to defend.

"Statues don't talk." Haruhi said.

'At least I'll get a few hours of glorious silence then.' Kyon thought. And it's not like anyone is going to volunteer for this anyway.'

"Alright, we'll go with 'creative' names, if it means I get to keep some semblance of dignity."  Kyon sighed.  "I hope these plaques aren't too expensive..."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of THAT!" Haruhi said with her ghoulish confidence.  At least Kyon didn't have to worry about mob connections when it came to Haruhi (so far).

"Well, that seems to settle everything,"  Itsuki said.  "I look forward to being forever immortalized as 'The pinnacle of beauty' by Kyon."

"Now remember, Kyon, we'll be need eye contacts, bodysuits, cups, face make up, clay... Oh! And should our statues stand on their own? Or is there any kind of quick dry plaster they can lay their feet on, we can buy for them to stand longer without getting tired? I don't want any of us slipping and breaking our necks."

"That is... surprisingly considerate of you."

"I don't want any bad press for my vision!"

"Of course."

"The Hardware store five blocks to the north of the school sells several varieties of plasters,"  Yuki noted.

"Thank you Yuki! Kyon, you'll pay for it."

"Why me?!"

"You're the artist, duh."

‘So now it comes down to my money or my dignity, does it?’  Kyon thought.  ‘Oh well, I wasn't really hoping to be able to afford my own car by college.’

Yuki added, "They are also having a sale, as of... 30 seconds ago."

"That's the first bit of good news I've heard all day."

"You're welcome," Yuki said extremely low.

“Well! Now that we have everything set! Get those fliers posted! The more who see them the better! And make sure you fast before Saturday, I am NOT having any of us statues take bathroom breaks!"

"Naturally, Haruhi,"  Itsuki nodded.  Mikuru let out a small sigh.

------

Kyon arrived at the park early Saturday morning.  "Never would have thought I'd be so unhappy that it wasn't raining on a day I planned to spend in the park,"  He sighed, and started setting up the plasters as the rest of the SOS Brigade arrived.  "All the suits are in the backpack,"  Kyon said.  "There's a restroom just over there where you guys can change."

Meanwhile, a locally owned delivery truck arrived, carrying with it about a half dozen or so stout pillars that looked like they'd been pilfered from a roman ruin. And on each one was a brass blank plaque.  "I brought the equipment for when you decide on our names as statue," Yuki said effortlessly holding up the engraving tools.

Kyon realized there was one more pillar than there were SOS members. "Oh dear God, someone actually volunteered to those fliers for this nonsense?!"

"Hiii Onichan!"

"OH NO!"

"I"m gonna be a work of art!"

"This can't be right!"

"We agreed that she could participate as long as she had the supervision of a legal guardian right?" Haruhi said, "And since you're our artist rather than one of the statues, I'd say you count!"

"Well yes, but...  Did you put her up to this?  Are there some sort of laws on coercion I can cite here?"

"Nope, I just saw those fliers and thought it'd be fun to have Onichan make me a statue!"

Kyon sighed. "Speak a word of this to no one. Ugh! I mean, just be good! Uh! Just remember to say anything if you want to quit and just want to go home early."

"Alright Onichan! ... Should I keep my braid on?"

"It's not made of stone," Haruhi said, "unless you want to color it all white with some paint."

"I'll take it off then,"  She said.  

Kyon turned to Haruhi.  "So, who else is subjecting themselves to this?"

"That's it,"  Haruhi crossed her arms.  "I can't imagine why people would want to miss out on something like this."

"I can think of quite a few,"  Kyon muttered.

"It seems people just don't have an appreciation for the arts anymore."  Itsuki sighed.

Mikuru and Yuki came out of the bathroom, dressed in their suits already, Kyon's sister following a little later.  If nothing else, seeing Mikuru like this was one upside to this whole ordeal for Kyon.

Then Itsuki emerged, from the restroom, and Kyon was immediately back to his usual disposition.  "Ah, these suits feel absolutely Fantastic Kyon!  Your work is top-notch.  Are you sure you wouldn't like to let Haruhi be the artist, and try this out with me?"

"I am perfectly fine with my decision, yes.  You should probably start getting into character, though.  We wouldn't want you hurting the illusion by talking any more."

Itsuki let out a loud and fully good natured laugh."I see your dry wit hasn't been worn down by the occasion at least!"

"How about you get on your contacts while I start working on the makeup and clay for the girls."

"Oh fine fine! Just don't go touching anything you shouldn't!"

"You know, I think I just came up with a name for your statue, the Agonizing Fool."

"What's my Statue's name gonna be, Onichan?"

"Well, I guess 'The Sweetness of Youth’ is a good one."  Kyon said as he applied her makeup.  ‘Though 'Youthful choices I'll regret in 10 years' might be more fitting,’  He thought to himself.  "That or Impish Angel," Kyon added, only then realizing he'd spoken out loud, and covered his mouth, but his sister just giggled.

"That one sounds fun!"  His sister said, as the makeup was finished.

Kyon turned to Mikuru next, and began carefully applying her makeup, doing his best to not look like he was enjoying the view more than he should.  Mikuru stayed silent, and fidgeted, she had to endure pretty much any of Haruhi's childish antics as part of her mission. But she felt embarrassed beyond measure, and really just wanted to run and hide. "I don't supposed you could apply some clay and make up so I don't have a face?"

"... I'm not sure I could enable you to breath like that... And I'm not sure I could hide a face like yours," Kyon realized he'd spoken out loud again.

Itsuki let out a small laugh.  "My, such a romantic, aren't we?

"Statues don't talk."

"So what should we call Mikuru for this?" Itsuki asked ignoring what he said.

"... Timeless Beauty, is that alright with you Mikuru-chan?"

"It... it is!" Mikuru might have been blushing through the make up, but Kyon couldn't tell.  As Kyon applied the clay to her hair, Mikuru hoped it wouldn’t be too difficult to remove later.

Kyon attended to Yuki next.  "And how about you?  Perhaps 'Knowledge from Beyond?'"

"Whatever name you choose will be sufficient. I would suggest Creation 00003. But yours does hold more artistic merit."

"I feel like that name would Imply that'd make a lot more of these than I'd be willing to."  

Finally, Haruhi emerged from the restroom, in her suit, though without her usual headband.  "Look at you!  All beautiful works of art!  My genius is showing through!"

"I did all the work,"  Kyon grumbled.

"My instructions, my design, my lay out, my step by step orders."

Kyon had to admit though, Haruhi did have a point, looking at his sister and friends now, except when they moved or spoke, with how the sun shone, he'd almost mistake them for 'modest nude' statues.  When Kyon turned to speak to Haruhi... he was left breathless... He was worried he was going to get a nose bleed. Haruhi was... she was beautiful, she was divine. "The Goddess," He heard himself say.

"That the name we're going with? A little over the top if you ask me, but if you insist, I can go for it."

"Er, right, that's what we're going with,"  Kyon said, catching himself.  "Now, everybody, find a position you're comfortable in.  You're gonna be there for a while.  And again:  'Statues don't talk'."

Haruhi began, "Shouldn't you pick the poses if you're the -"

"Statues don't talk."

Haruhi fumed a bit, but this had all been HER idea, and HER vision, and well, she was oblivious to her own flaws usually, but she did respect Kyon’s position as the artist at least in this instance, mainly because she gave it to him.

Yuki meanwhile, as fast as an assembly line, engraved their statue names onto the plaques without damaging the skin suit or smudging her makeup at all, in spite of wearing the white contacts.

Kyon hated to admit it, but Haruhi was right, his little sister did look like a cherub right out of one of one of Raphael's works.  Though he also admitted, this was kinda creepy, Haruhi had covered every possible angle. The body suits and cups hid any of the finer details that might have broken the illusion, the make up blended seamlessly into the suits, the eye contacts hid away that tell tale sign, white the light clay over their hair kept the wind from blowing it, effectively freezing it in place as a statue's would be.  It really was like he was looking at five statues rather than his sister and friends.

He looked at Mikuru again, and said, "And remember, have fun."  Mikuru nodded.


The five pedestals were set up, well in the public view. Haruhi's flyers had made sure people would know about this, and come.  "Now be sure to pick poses you're sure you can hold for the whole time," Kyon said.

Several students from their school had shown up, a number of them being boys hoping for a perverted peek or two, though they were a little disappointed.  Other passers-by stopped to look, a few commenting on how eerily convincing the scene was.

Haruhi was practically beaming with pride.  She knew this would be a success!  She and her friends made excellent statues!  She was quite enjoying the attention, and it made her all the more eager to keep holding her pose.  She wasn't about to let people think she was just some fake, even for a second.  A good statue had no trouble staying in place.  And certainly no statue fit to be called "The goddess" would move.  Putting herself in that frame of mind, it suddenly seemed so simple to stay still; even her breathing seemed to slow.

Haruhi's pose was her legs spread out, firmly pointed forward, with her hands firmly on her hips, her back straight and her chest out, head held high, a commanding presence on her face that drew a sense of command from any who looked at her.

Mikuru, meanwhile, had her hands folded together before her, as she stood up with a small smile on her face.  She seemed to give off a look of gentle consideration, as if she was ready to listen to any observer's concern.

Kyon's little sister, was wondering about doing a Sailor Moon victory pose, or sitting down with her legs 'kicking' off the pedestal.  She ultimately settled into a Sailor Moon victory pose.  ‘Good thing this isn't gonna be up long enough to get us a copyright strike,’  Kyon thought.

Yuki, surprisingly, did not take a simple, neutral, standing pose, but instead, sat on her pedestal, her head looking at her hands, as if she was reading an invisible book.

Itsuki, meanwhile, bore a wide smile.  ‘Then again, when was the last time I saw him with anything else?’  Kyon thought.  Itsuki stood in the middle of a smug stride, looking ready to show off for anyone who glanced his way.

As Mikuru stood there, she started to feel more at ease with this.  Sure, people were coming and staring, but it felt less like the were ogling, and more like they were admiring her.  She and her friends were simply there to remind people of the simple beauty of the human body, not just to be dress up dolls.  Her heartbeat slowed from the frantic nervousness she had been experiencing before.

Haruhi held steady even as more strangers began to pass by and comment on the life-like "statues."  Yes, The Goddess and her friends made perfect sculptures; nobody would suspect the truth...  The only way the illusion could be better was if they had been statues in the park from the start.  And so, The Goddess focused, trying to get into character perfectly.  If she had been a statue from the beginning, how would she have felt?  Well, the crowds coming to see her wouldn't be that special, which frankly, they weren't... Art such as hers would command their attention day by day anyway.  She wouldn't be feeling hungry, or thirsty, either.  Not that she was, the attention almost seemed to sate her on its own.  Yes, the goddess and her fellow statues were flawless, inspirational creations, that would last for generations.  Notions of movement even to catch a breath, seemed increasingly silly to her.  Why would the Goddess hinder her perfect beauty with even the slightest budging?  Her creator, Kyon, wouldn’t make a statue that shook.

The Impish Angel, meanwhile, who had initially had trouble focusing on staying still, was finding it more and more natural to do so.  If anything, it took more effort to try disrupt her cheerful pose.  Which would make sense; she had been holding that position for as long as she could remember, staying silent, watching her smile bring smiles to the people around them...  Few things brought her greater joy.

Yuki had been aware of the possibility of the event unfolding like this.  Of her consciousness being changed, her awareness being replaced by "Knowledge from Beyond."  Of course, Knowledge From Beyond might have some awareness of the multiple timelines as well.  Perhaps it only made sense that she could know that in one timeline, she could be both Knowledge From Beyond, and Yuki Nagoto.  But this was not that timeline.  All evidence was pointing to a timeline in which she was always a sculpture, always Knowledge From Beyond.  To acknowledge the timelines involving Yuki Nagoto would be a futile endeavor, as a simple statue would have no means to act on this knowledge, and Knowledge from Beyond knew she needed to fill the role of a statue.

Itsuki took his role as the agonizing fool in stride, as any good agonizing fool would.  He always took pride in showing off his figure, regardless of how appropriate it was.  Could he do anything less?  Had he ever done anything less?  Of course not!  What could be as important as displaying the beauty of the male body, in a display otherwise overrun with women?  How would men of future generations be able to pride in their forms, if they were only told women could be beautiful?  Their creator wouldn’t be satisfied if the Agonizing Fool let his sisters do all the work.  He may have been agonizing to some, but he hardly saw any of this as foolish.

Finally, the Timeless Beauty found herself embracing her title with gusto.  No longer did she feel like hiding her true self from the world; her's was a charm and a gift of nature, a gift that would be shared with others, something to aspire toward.  But unlike the creatures that admired her, her beauty would stay constant.  There was something to be said of the new forms of beauty their fragile forms would take, if one opened their perspectives, but hers was to serve as an elegance that would stand true, even through the eons, alongside her brother and sisters.

Kyon, meanwhile, sat back, and enjoyed watching the crowds come and go.  He had gone through a lot of work to immortalize these masterpieces.  Though he still couldn't shake the feeling there was something unnatural about the way those pedestals suddenly went on sale.  Still, it was nice to finally have something of his be appreciated, and he couldn't help but feel as if these statues were his most treasured friends, in some small way.  It was great to see others show the same interest in them as he did.  While he sincerely felt like his work was vulnerable out here outside, exposed to the pigeons, the wind and rain, they'd certainly were getting more attention here than they'd get squared away in some private collection.

"Excuse me, Kyon? You're the the artist of these statues?"

Kyon turned to see it was the president of the school computer club. "That would be me."

"I was wondering if I could purchase one of them on behalf of my family, I think Impish Angel would great in our garden. And have you considered donating 'Knowledge From Beyond' to the school library? I think it would liven up the place."

Kyon frowned.  "I'm sorry sir, but I really feel that these statues complement each other too well to go individually.  They're...  Almost like friends, in a way, as strange as that sounds,"  Kyon didn't really like to think of himself as the sentimental type, and he DID want his statues to be someplace they'd be cared for, but still, he couldn't shake the feeling that they worked best together.

"I know artists can get attached to their works... "

"Besides, I don't think I'd want any of them in a private collection.  These are supposed to be a statement about the purity and innocence of the human body in it's natural state, for all the world to see.  To restrict that message to just one family and whatever friends they invite to see their collection would get in the way of that."

"If this is about me feeling up 'The Goddess' in your studio, I assure you that was NOT what it looked like," The computer club president said in honesty.

"I understand,"  Kyon wasn't QUITE sure why he believed the computer club president, but he knew he wasn't lying.  "Some art has a way of making people do strange things.  "The Goddess in particular..."

"Is that why you have her in the center?"

"She wouldn't have it any other way."

"You talk about it like she was alive."

"Art is alive, all works of art have their personalities, feelings, and messages they speak out."

"Yeah, the guy statue certainly seems like it would be the type that wouldn't shut up about himself,"  One of the attendees noted.

"Aren't you worried about being dated with Angelic Imp having a pose from a copyrighted character?"

"Well, yes, but sometimes, you just have to accept that there's nothing new under the sun, and I don't think the pose itself is copyrighted."

‘At least, I hope it isn't,’  Kyon thought to himself, then added, "Besides, she's a child, why wouldn't she have a childish pose."

"Fair point."  The guest shrugged.

"Why did you include a child statue?"

"To show innocence can still be art without being lewd."

"Fair enough. I just feel she's an odd sort for the rest."

"So is the Agonizing Fool, but I didn't want just female statues."

Meanwhile some of the crowd started taking pictures of Kyon’s statues.  Kyon didn't try to stop them.  He figured that the photos would only allow more people to see his creations, and maybe even motivate some more people to come see them in person.  Plus, he felt The Goddess would approve.

"So if you had to pick a favorite, which would it be?"

"That's like choosing between family."

"Really? You sincerely don't have a favorite?"

"Well, I'll admit I'm protective of Impish Angel, I remember have happened to Kiki The Witch."

"Well, I did notice you staring at Timeless Beauty quite a bit when you were working on those things back at the art club,"  A classmate pointed out.

"I just thought she really represented the female form well,"  Kyon stammered.

"And here I thought you'd say the goddess was your favorite."

"The Goddess has something special about her that ties them all together,"  Kyon countered.  "Just because she's not the epitome of feminine beauty doesn't mean she can't stand out on her own.  She's got a commanding presence, and a way of making sure things happen the way she wants them to."

"That's a lot of detail for just a statue."

"A lot of heart and soul went into these.  It's hard not to see them as having personalities all their own.  Though really, that's true of most art, if you take the time to appreciate it."

"So would you say each of the girls represents an Id, Ego, Super-Ego, and inner child, or am I reading too much into it?"

"I guess that's a way of looking at it...  It wasn't really on my mind at the time, but it does fit."

"So you're really sure you won't sell?"
   
"Not to any private collections, and not individually.  These are meant to be for the public at large, not just one family."

"Alright. But you should seriously consider doing more, these beauties turned out brilliantly. You really do feel the life from them."

"I honestly don't know if I have it in me to do any more like this.  I don't like to get sentimental, but I feel like art with this kind of life to it has some irreplaceable, impossible to imitate quality to it."

"I can appreciate artists who say that sort of thing. Want this to be your great big boom eh?"

"That about sums it up."


"The goddess, I could worship her," One of Kyon's schoolmates remarked with a grin.

"Probably best not to feed her ego like that.  She might start ordering you around."

"Good thing statues don't talk then."

"Art has a way of getting its message across without speaking."

"If you don't plan to sell them, are you just going to leave them in the park?"

"I don't have the money to give them a proper tour, though I wouldn't mind a larger audience being allowed to see them. And I wouldn't want to risk them being damaged in a subpar effort. And I really do want to give them as much exposure as possible."

"Well, were it up to me, these would definitely be worthy of a place in a museum,"  One woman said.

"Well as I said, what I want most is for them to be seen as many people as possible, and at least they do liven up the park some. And museum rotate through their statues, I wouldn't want them put into storage, possibly away from each other."

As Kyon was addressing his audience’s various questions, Knowledge from Beyond contemplated her current situation.  She knew she wasn’t the only one altered by The Goddess’s abilities, and though the reprogramming of reality had made her disinclined to undo the change, she still wished to ensure her friends were feeling alright.  Thus, accessing her old data manipulation protocols, she created a “chat program” to allow the statues to communicate with each other.

KfB: Hello Goddess, Impish Angel, Timeless Beauty, and Agonizing Fool.  Are you all in stable and optimal condition?

Impish Angel: Whoa, who’s that?!

KfB: This is Knowledge from Beyond, creation 0004.

Impish Angel: Statues can talk to each other?

KfB: We are talking now aren't we? So therefore, we can. At least we can.

Agonizing Fool:  Ah, good to know.  I for one, would be happy to speak on any subject you would wish to hear about.  Especially if it's on the subject of male beauty.

Goddess:  I knew we would be able to attract a huge crowd.  Look at everyone, coming to admire my genius.

TB: Your Genius? Kyon is our creator.

Goddess: Well, had I not stirred it in his soul to create, none of us would be here, I know that for sure.

TB:  But wouldn't that mean you were influencing him before you existed?

Goddess:  Hmph, it seems that not even fellow art can see the complex beauty of the artistic process for what it is.

AF:  It seems our little Impish Angel is quite popular with this crowd.  I've heard whispers of no less than three separate offers to buy her individually.

Angelic Imp: Woopie! I'm popular! I wish I could go home with them, but then I wouldn't be with you.

TB:  I wouldn't want to leave you, either.

KfB:  While it is unlikely that our creator will willingly distribute us separately, it may be possible to manipulate the data on any sale made so that any persons purchasing one of us will own all of us.

TB:  Well, that's good to know, but I agree with our creator that we should be able to be seen by everyone, not just hidden in some private collection.
   
Goddess:  Of course we shouldn't! My beauty shouldn't be hidden away or hoarded... oh, and all of you of course... it would be boring to have nothing but mere worshippers around.

AF: And we certainly wouldn't be able to shine nearly as brightly without the light of our glorious goddess around.

Goddess: Happy to hear you see the truth of the matter.

KfB:  It may be possible to become publicly recognized fixtures of the park.  As Government property, we may potentially receive proper care and maintenance on a regular basis.

TB: But then we wouldn't belong to Kyon-San!

KfB:  That would be a regrettable additional effect, yes.  I too, do not wish to be separated from Kyon.

Goddess:... I can't say it would be the same without him.
   
AF: That would be kinda have to be accepted anyway, we'll be around long after he's gone.

Impish Angel:  Aww, I don't want to lose Kyon…

KfB: I believe the proper behavior for works of art, is for their creator to live on through them.

Impish Angel:  Yeah, I guess we'll have to help people see Kyon through us.

KfB:  Agreed. Modification of his data to art would create a paradox and possibly erase all beings and objects in the immediate area, including us.  This solution is far more feasible.

KfB:  Additionally, It might be possible to modify existing data, to create a replica of Impish Angel, enabling her sale while remaining with us.

Goddess: No way! We can't have cheap copies of us standing around!

TB:  I agree with the Goddess, Kyon made us unique, it would feel wrong to make some imitation without any soul contributing.

KfB: Oh that wouldn't be an issue, I referred to choosing a subject to modify into a new Impish Angel, but you second point still stands.

Impish Angel: How can ya do that? Can I do that?

KfB:  It is not possible for you.  The Knowledge from Beyond has a connection to this timeline's Integrated Data Entity, allowing for modification of data in local spacetime.

Goddess:  What's that? Why do you have that and not me?

KfB:  It is a unique property of Knowledge from Beyond, due to the nature of the "soul" the focus of her art embodies.

Goddess: Ah, like me being commanding and take care for me.

AF:  And my good looks and charm, astonishing all that see me.

KfB: And Timeless Beauty embodying the feminine form in all its glory.

TB:  And Impish Angel's youthful innocence.
   
KfB: I opened this communication channel so I might artesian that you are all in optimal condition.

TB:  Oh, right, sorry.  I'm feeling very good; everyone around me seems to admire my form, just like Kyon wanted.

Impish Angel:  I'm doing great!  It's fun to be popular!

AF:  I'm having a delightful time, basking in both our goddess's glory, and the attention of a loving public.

Goddess: Do you have to even ask?

KfB:  As everybody appears to be in optimal condition, I believe it is safe to end the communication functions for the time being, and continue our work to inspire humanity.  Is this acceptable to you?

Impish Angel: But I like us talking!

AF:  I certainly don't want to stop.

TB:  Even though I know we're all together anyway, I would feel a little lonely not being able to hear from you.

Goddess:  Definitely not!  How else are a goddess’ commands going to be heard?

KfB:  Very well, the channel will remain open.

AF: And what commands would we carry out oh goddess?

KfB: I detect that due to our unique existences and the souls used in our creation, we are able to subtly influence the behavior, decisions, and mood of the humans immediately around us.

KfB: And if there are any that we deem worthy, I should be able to modify their data so they become one of us.

Goddess:  That sounds like fun to me!  I'm all for saving the world by making people want to overload it with fun!

Meanwhile, some of the shyer girls passing by Timeless Beauty felt a tinge of confidence, a sense that, yes, they could be beautiful in their own ways.

KfB: I shall note that as our collective primary function my goddess.

Goddess: Good thinking, Knowledge.

Impish Angel began to reach out to the hearts of adults nearby, giving them a sense of notstalgia, and memories of a more innocent time in their lives.

Impish Angel:  Look, I got some people to smile!

TB: That's very good Angel!

Meanwhile, Agonizing Fool, chuckled to himself when a young man did the reckless and foolish thing by confessing to the girl he liked.  A handful of the people admiring Knowledge from beyond, in contrast, found themselves pondering how much they really knew about the world around them, a sense of curiosity awakening re-igniting.

Kyon sat back on a nearby bench, the crowd's questions having slowed enough to give him some peace.  He looked over the people examining his work.  Even as proud of it them as he was, he was still a bit surprised by the impact they seemed to be having on people.  He looked up at The Goddess.  "Looks like you all are making the world a more interesting place already,"  He whispered.

Knowledge From Beyond, some part of her that might still be Yuki, thought that optimally, happiness of the world would include their own, as part of the world. So she proceeded to ask logically:

KfB: Timeless Beauty, Agonizing Fool, My Goddess, Impish Angel, I wish to ask objectively, would any of you care to be flesh and blood humans rather than stone imitation of their form?

TB:  Oh, no, wouldn't that defeat the point of me being "timeless?"  As a human, I could inspire people with the peak of the feminine form for a few years, at most, and while there is a certain beauty to be found in age as well, I want to be able to help women find their own sense of elegance for years to come.

AF:  Oh, hardly.  It would be an utter waste of this wonderful physique.

Impish Angel:  Nope, I'm having fun being here with you guys, and not having to grow up and get some boring job.

KfB: So you prefer forever with us, thank to run and play as a human child would, and prefer to avoid the responsibilities that come with eventual adulthood, it will be noted.

Knowledge from Beyond then subtly altered Impish Angel's data, giving her a pair of cherub wings.

Impish Angel:  Aw, when you say it like that, it sounds like I'm trying to get out of chores…

KfB: It is your choice to make. No one else's.  I did not mean to berate your desire, I apologize.

Impish Angel:  It's alright.  I just wanna stay with you guys.
[    
KfB: And what is your choice My Goddess?

Goddess:  If I became flesh and blood, nobody would consider me a proper goddess.

Impish Angel: Yippie! All big sisters and big brother are staying together!

TB: And it's lovely to have you with us too little sister.

Knowledge from Beyond then altered the data of her Goddess' stone body, increasing her size, making her stand a little big larger than life than a real human, increasing her height by 20%, making her just over six feet tall.  If anything, this just made people notice and admire her more.

Goddess:  Great!  Since we're all in agreement, we can call ourselves the SOS Brigade!  Statues Out to Save the world through art and inspiration!

Her little sisters and brother all mentally cheered and agreed.

Knowledge from Beyond then added a stone hourglass as part of Timeless Beauty's body, sitting on her pedestal, but also a part of her.  She added a stone book for herself, with complex mathematical equations, she felt it as it was also a part of her stone body, carved from the same piece of stone. She added a scepter to Agonizing Fool's own grip. Which retroactively they all remembered being sculpted as part of them.  Kyon meanwhile, would stumble upon  lottery ticket, giving him the cash to perform that tour after all.

The statues traveled all over Japan, inspiring confidence, nostalgia, recklessness, and curiosity wherever they went.  When the tour finally ended, they were returned to the park, where they were all given a stable foundation.  As the years went by, Kyon continued to drop by and see his  friends again, until he finally passed on.  Though the SOS brigade would miss him, they continued to keep his name alive, as even those from outside the country began to visit to see the works of art he created.

The End.